Anyone who is not a straight white man is TERRIFIED for their life right now, because every single person who is not male, not white, and not straight has been verbally abused by the President elect. They have already been getting beaten, terrorized, and threatened in his name. The only policies I have seen of his (apparently released in late October but given ZERO attention from the media) still support racism. Anyone that is not a straight white male has EVERY reason to be terrified. Anyone considering sharing that they are not Christian, not straight, that they too have experienced sexual assault, or questioning their gender has now had a giant train slammed into their face telling them they need to keep it to themselves in fear that someone will attack them for it. The country has already been mentally abused by this man and the citizens are very wary of what will happen next.
Our society has already made sexual assault acceptable and even discrimination acceptable. What we have seen from Trump thus far promises worse treatment. His policies also make those, even the straight white males, who live in poverty terrified. His tax break for companies and the wealthy will further the wage gap and put the poor further into poverty. I currently earn poverty-level wages. I use Obamacare and am on Food Stamps. He wants to get rid of the ACA. For those who know, know that I NEED insurance. I trip over forklifts for Dumbledore's sake! I NEED that protection because my job does not provide it. Trump being president means that I may not have health care next year. I have ongoing medical care for my asthma that needs to be covered. I am still searching for a diagnosis as to why my body thinks my thyroid is a virus and is attacking it. If I don't get diagnosed and treated in the next 6 weeks, I may come back from India paying thousands of dollars out of pocket. If I get sick in India, I may not be able to take care of myself. But those are small problems when you look at the amount of people diagnosed with cancer, with seizures, with Parkinsons, with so many incurable diseases. They are all TERRIFIED that they will die next year because the President-elect wants to take away their healthcare.
The 2016 uninsured rate remains at an all time low with the uninsured rate at 11.9% for Americans 18 – 64 and 8.6% for all Americans. Less than 9% of all Americas do NOT have health coverage. But that is a number we have NEVER seen before! It is AMAZING what President Obama has done for us in his 8 years of office. That small number is what everyone hoped for, since medical costs have risen so much. Earlier this year, I had knee surgery. But it was considered a minor knee surgery - I went to get surgery and was home within 4 hours. But that procedure cost over $14,000! That should be the cost of a total knee replacement! It is actually, if you travel to Asia. In America, a total knee replacement could cost you $70,000! That is $20,000 MORE THAN THE AVERAGE AMERICAN SALARY!!!! FOR ONE YEAR!
My point is - people are terrified for their lives. THAT is why everyone is so upset about Trump winning the election. They fear for their lives because they are different. It's almost as if we have figured out how to travel back in time when SEGREGATION was rampant and people were ALLOWED TO OWN SLAVES STILL! That is NOT a great America. That is an America of the past that should NEVER be brought again. America is already great because America cares. America is a melting pot where anyone from anywhere can get a second chance at life. THAT is what makes America great.
But really, if we want to get rid of all of the illegal immigrants..... we should start with the white people, because they took this country from the Native Americans and have disrespected and ruined their country. White people still are doing so, and I am SO ashamed to call myself an American after 2016. We have HORRIBLE to our own people, to the people whose land we stole, and to the rest of the world.
So while I am not happy with who our President-elect is, I know that he is the president that we deserve, because we have treated everything like shit. This really drills down the moral lesson of treat others the way you want to be treated - it will eventually come back to bite you in the ass.
So, until next time--
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Goals, the President, the Future, and above all - Peace
Most years, I tend to fall short in reaching my new goals for the year. I tend to set high goals, in hopes that I will reach just a portion of them.
But not this year. This year, I get to meet my goal. I've already met my goal. Sort of.
For 2016, I wanted to travel more and often, but especially, I wanted to travel abroad. Before 2016, I had been to 12 different states and had spend about 90 minutes "abroad" on a Bahamian island before I got injured and was back on the cruise ship, getting an x-ray done of my foot. I have had a deep seeded, lustrous, desirous, itching wanderlust for most of my life.
But in 2016, I got to travel to two new states and I've gone on multiple road trips. I got to explore new cities and towns in states I had already been in, and made millions of memories. But my hugest goal was to travel abroad, which I had started to chalk up to being something that would just have to wait until 2017. Until yesterday.
A few weeks ago, on a whim, I applied for a Winter Break Field Study program, as part of my Masters Degree. The course? Pilgrimage to Gandhi's India: Be the Change. The location? India. The timing? December 2016-January 2017. The idea? Social Justice Issues in India and following Gandhi's footsteps. I figured I could at least apply and see if I was able to afford it later, maybe pray to all of the deities that I could make the trip happen financially.
Well, yesterday I got an email confirming that I got a scholarship to pay for the last $1000 that I needed covered for the course and tuition costs.
I'M GOING TO INDIA!
Granted, I need to save up a little bit more money to afford the flight costs, but I did it.
I finally get to meet every goal I set for myself for 2016. Admittedly, hitting only two goals may not seem like a big deal to many people, but when you're in a financial bind and you've never even been given a passport, it's a pretty big deal.
But what's even huger than meeting my goal is the trip content itself. We will be guided through India by Mr. Arun Gnadhi, the 5th grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, visiting locations that were important to Gandhi's life - where we was imprisoned with his wife, where he was killed, his house, his ashram, and museums. We will also follow his legacy of social justice by visiting a college where illiterate women become solar power engineers, we will visit orphanages, and more. I will get to spend two whole weeks traveling through India, following and learning how to bring peace and social justice back to America.
As part of our pre-trip meetings, we attended a talk given by Mr. Arun Gandhi, titled "Non-Violence in a Violent World" He talked about how America, this huge powerhouse of a country, does not help to bring peace to the world. He reminded us, and maybe taught this concept newly to people, that the key to non-violent action is understanding, love, compassion, and respect. That if we do not approach war, violence, conflict, in a non-violent way, if we do not have love and respect for the opposition, then we will always live in a violent world. It is certainly not easy, though. He told us of a story back in 1913, when Mahatma Gandhi did his last major campaign of peace. He went to Africa to discuss, with the government, about racial injustice. After he had announced his campaign, but before he had launched it, another campaign, a rail-workers strike, occurred. They wanted Gandhi to join forces with them against their common enemy. But he refused. He told them that he did not have any enemies, just misguided friends. Those rail-workers got arrested and Gandhi was able to go on to speak with the government and helped to fix just one social injustice issue. That is one of the hugest lessons that we can learn today, is that not everyone is your enemy, that you have no enemies, just misguided friends.
I also got to sit down and chat with Arun Gandhi for 30 minutes before he headed to Brazil, and asked him some advice and questions about his talk the previous night. I asked about his advice on how America could become a peace leader of the world. And as he had mentioned the previous night, he said that the military in America has too much power. We discussed how the budget for the military could be cut down, which I agreed with, as it is too much.
As Americans, we have this mental image of ourselves as the ones who need to go into another country to save others, that we have the ultimate power and that we need to force people to be just like us. But isn't that why the original immigrants to America left Great Britain? That oppressive power? To get away from the violence and hatred?
Except everyone forgets where we came from - and it's not America. There is a small handful of Americans who do have Native American blood, such as myself, but for the most part, this country was built upon violence, of taking away the land and lives of those here before us. It has never sat well with me, and now I know why. In order to truly be a world leader, we need to break down and rebuild our country. We are being presented with a unique opportunity to do so, with our current election, actually. Regardless of who gets voted in as President, they will be changing the course of history. They will have the choice to make America a peace leader of the world. Or to continue on the path that we are on now.
While I am worried about the election, I am not worried about this - that we can change and that we are changing. People are finally seeing and understanding the social injustices of the world. People are speaking up, out, and about the social injustices across the globe. They are looking for a way to change. They want to change, but they are scared and they don't know how.
I am here to tell you, and I will continue to share what I learn. But I can tell you for absolute certain, that love is the answer. 2016 has been an amazing and terrifying year all mushed together. There have been multiple massacres, too many deaths, the 15th anniversary of a terrifying day, and more. But there have also been thousands and thousands of births, there have been celebrations of love and joy, there have been leaps and bounds of acceptance and love. So we just have to keep that up. We have to keep spreading the love, we have to try to understand and accept, we have to respect each other and the differences we have and share, and we have to have compassion.
If you used to be racist, but you want to find another way, I applaud you. If you used to be homophobic, but you realize that your behavior was wrong and silly, I applaud you. You want to make change, you want to become a better person, you want the world to be better.
I know it's difficult and it will always be difficult, but all we can do is try. I know I am going to try. I am going to learn and I am going to share. I can't wait to visit India. I can't wait to experience the world. I can't wait to walk in his shoes, to learn peace from the master and his family. I can't wait to share it with everyone.
As M.K. Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world."
So, until next time--
But not this year. This year, I get to meet my goal. I've already met my goal. Sort of.
For 2016, I wanted to travel more and often, but especially, I wanted to travel abroad. Before 2016, I had been to 12 different states and had spend about 90 minutes "abroad" on a Bahamian island before I got injured and was back on the cruise ship, getting an x-ray done of my foot. I have had a deep seeded, lustrous, desirous, itching wanderlust for most of my life.
But in 2016, I got to travel to two new states and I've gone on multiple road trips. I got to explore new cities and towns in states I had already been in, and made millions of memories. But my hugest goal was to travel abroad, which I had started to chalk up to being something that would just have to wait until 2017. Until yesterday.
A few weeks ago, on a whim, I applied for a Winter Break Field Study program, as part of my Masters Degree. The course? Pilgrimage to Gandhi's India: Be the Change. The location? India. The timing? December 2016-January 2017. The idea? Social Justice Issues in India and following Gandhi's footsteps. I figured I could at least apply and see if I was able to afford it later, maybe pray to all of the deities that I could make the trip happen financially.
Well, yesterday I got an email confirming that I got a scholarship to pay for the last $1000 that I needed covered for the course and tuition costs.
I'M GOING TO INDIA!
Granted, I need to save up a little bit more money to afford the flight costs, but I did it.
I finally get to meet every goal I set for myself for 2016. Admittedly, hitting only two goals may not seem like a big deal to many people, but when you're in a financial bind and you've never even been given a passport, it's a pretty big deal.
But what's even huger than meeting my goal is the trip content itself. We will be guided through India by Mr. Arun Gnadhi, the 5th grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, visiting locations that were important to Gandhi's life - where we was imprisoned with his wife, where he was killed, his house, his ashram, and museums. We will also follow his legacy of social justice by visiting a college where illiterate women become solar power engineers, we will visit orphanages, and more. I will get to spend two whole weeks traveling through India, following and learning how to bring peace and social justice back to America.
As part of our pre-trip meetings, we attended a talk given by Mr. Arun Gandhi, titled "Non-Violence in a Violent World" He talked about how America, this huge powerhouse of a country, does not help to bring peace to the world. He reminded us, and maybe taught this concept newly to people, that the key to non-violent action is understanding, love, compassion, and respect. That if we do not approach war, violence, conflict, in a non-violent way, if we do not have love and respect for the opposition, then we will always live in a violent world. It is certainly not easy, though. He told us of a story back in 1913, when Mahatma Gandhi did his last major campaign of peace. He went to Africa to discuss, with the government, about racial injustice. After he had announced his campaign, but before he had launched it, another campaign, a rail-workers strike, occurred. They wanted Gandhi to join forces with them against their common enemy. But he refused. He told them that he did not have any enemies, just misguided friends. Those rail-workers got arrested and Gandhi was able to go on to speak with the government and helped to fix just one social injustice issue. That is one of the hugest lessons that we can learn today, is that not everyone is your enemy, that you have no enemies, just misguided friends.
I also got to sit down and chat with Arun Gandhi for 30 minutes before he headed to Brazil, and asked him some advice and questions about his talk the previous night. I asked about his advice on how America could become a peace leader of the world. And as he had mentioned the previous night, he said that the military in America has too much power. We discussed how the budget for the military could be cut down, which I agreed with, as it is too much.
As Americans, we have this mental image of ourselves as the ones who need to go into another country to save others, that we have the ultimate power and that we need to force people to be just like us. But isn't that why the original immigrants to America left Great Britain? That oppressive power? To get away from the violence and hatred?
Except everyone forgets where we came from - and it's not America. There is a small handful of Americans who do have Native American blood, such as myself, but for the most part, this country was built upon violence, of taking away the land and lives of those here before us. It has never sat well with me, and now I know why. In order to truly be a world leader, we need to break down and rebuild our country. We are being presented with a unique opportunity to do so, with our current election, actually. Regardless of who gets voted in as President, they will be changing the course of history. They will have the choice to make America a peace leader of the world. Or to continue on the path that we are on now.
While I am worried about the election, I am not worried about this - that we can change and that we are changing. People are finally seeing and understanding the social injustices of the world. People are speaking up, out, and about the social injustices across the globe. They are looking for a way to change. They want to change, but they are scared and they don't know how.
I am here to tell you, and I will continue to share what I learn. But I can tell you for absolute certain, that love is the answer. 2016 has been an amazing and terrifying year all mushed together. There have been multiple massacres, too many deaths, the 15th anniversary of a terrifying day, and more. But there have also been thousands and thousands of births, there have been celebrations of love and joy, there have been leaps and bounds of acceptance and love. So we just have to keep that up. We have to keep spreading the love, we have to try to understand and accept, we have to respect each other and the differences we have and share, and we have to have compassion.
If you used to be racist, but you want to find another way, I applaud you. If you used to be homophobic, but you realize that your behavior was wrong and silly, I applaud you. You want to make change, you want to become a better person, you want the world to be better.
I know it's difficult and it will always be difficult, but all we can do is try. I know I am going to try. I am going to learn and I am going to share. I can't wait to visit India. I can't wait to experience the world. I can't wait to walk in his shoes, to learn peace from the master and his family. I can't wait to share it with everyone.
As M.K. Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world."
So, until next time--
Sunday, September 11, 2016
The Sound of Silent Hands
It has been 15 years.
I was in 6th grade science class with Mrs. Tavares, another student, Christopher told her to stop and not turn off the tv, as we had finished a VCR about something sciencey. He was from New York. He knew the image of the twin towers. We didn't realize that it was live tv. But once Mrs. Tavares realized it, she couldn't move, only watch in terror. At the bottom of the screen, which was showing live footage of the twin towers being destroyed, to a classroom of 11 year olds, was information scrolling about other attacks happening across the Northeast.
I felt safer, knowing that we were in South Florida, and that there was not a reason for them to attack us. But I was still a few months from being 12 years old. I didn't know how serious the situation was. I couldn't understand why we had to keep everyone in the same classroom for such a long time, why we didn't have to do classwork. I knew everyone was scared, I knew I was scared by proxy, but I just wanted to get to art class so that I could work out my emotions the only way I knew how. I eventually got to do so, but I also was very sad. I couldn't understand why someone would do that. I didn't blame Islam, though. I blamed those individuals. I wanted to do something, and for years after, even now, I have played with the idea of joining the military to fight for my country. The one that was attacked with, as far as I can tell, no prompting.
But things have changed in the past 15 years. More animosity and hate is spread around to all. In 6th grade, I was friends with a Muslim girl, a black girl, a black boy, a Jewish boy, a bi-sexual boy, a lesbian, and all sorts of other kids. We didn't see a difference in each others skin color, heritage, religion, or sexual preferences. We just saw who was a dance kid, who was a theatre kid, who was a visual arts kid, who played an instrument. That's how we were 'divided' but even that didn't stop us.
It's still how I view the world. All of these labels that cause so much hate are unnecessary. They only cause more pain and strife and hatred. Why can't the guy walking down the street be just a dancer, or just an artist, or just a band geek? Why can't the girl driving next to jamming to rap music just be the dancer with curly hair, or the theatre soprano?
Why do we have to justify each other and our hatred with pointing out skin color or religious markers? Why can't just accept that we harbor some hatred and then try to change that feeling? Why do we have to feed it? Why do we have to build up the hatred? Why can't we just love each other?
For those that quote the bible.... why can't you remember that rule that Jesus made up - forget the commandments, this is my only commandment - love one another.
Why is love so hard for everyone?
EVERYONE is pained by remembering the travesty from 15 years ago. But there is a whole new generation that wasn't even alive when it happened. Every child in grade school either can't remember it because they were 3 years old or younger, or weren't even born yet. Why are we teaching them hate? Why can't we teach them love?
But whats painful is that on this day of remembrance, on this day of reflection, people are still attacking each other. They think that an image of the twin towers will offend some people, namely Islamic people and Muslims. But the thing is, that is not true for most of that population. What offends them is that you think they were not affected either.
Even more painful is that, 3 months ago, in my city of Orlando - more hatred caused more death and even more pain. 49 angels will never be seen again, and finally, the 50+ survivors are all home. But some people have already forgotten that travesty too. They are back to pushing political rhetoric about how love is really only between a man and woman. They are so very wrong.
Ask any child, just like I knew back when I was 11, that anyone can love anyone. That we should all love each other, that we just need to focus on the love, not the hate.
Today is a huge whirl of emotions all over this amazing country, but people are still lashing out. People are still angry. And even though it is 15 years later, I STILL can't understand how so much hate and anger can be harboured by so many people.
Even those who follow other religions know that love is number 1 - taking care of others, being good and nice is what should be default. I just struggle so much with wrapping my head around the idea of such angry people that they can only attack, not uplift.
As I reflect, and can remember nearly every detail where I was during both tragedies, what sticks out most, is that I tried to show my love for others as much as I could. The attacks of September 11, 2001 cemented the idea that I just want to help others and let them know they are loved. The attack of June 12, 2016 reminded me of that, and has pushed me forward in my mission to show love and not hate.
I hope that everyone can find it in their hearts to show only love, even if only for this one day.
If you would like some help with that, just watch these two videos/listen to these songs:
https://youtu.be/3iy2L9VeUfc (Sound of Silence by Disturbed, 9/11 video)
https://youtu.be/tnumaX_EJhE (Hands, tribute song for Orlando, GLAAD lyric video)
So, until next time--
I was in 6th grade science class with Mrs. Tavares, another student, Christopher told her to stop and not turn off the tv, as we had finished a VCR about something sciencey. He was from New York. He knew the image of the twin towers. We didn't realize that it was live tv. But once Mrs. Tavares realized it, she couldn't move, only watch in terror. At the bottom of the screen, which was showing live footage of the twin towers being destroyed, to a classroom of 11 year olds, was information scrolling about other attacks happening across the Northeast.
I felt safer, knowing that we were in South Florida, and that there was not a reason for them to attack us. But I was still a few months from being 12 years old. I didn't know how serious the situation was. I couldn't understand why we had to keep everyone in the same classroom for such a long time, why we didn't have to do classwork. I knew everyone was scared, I knew I was scared by proxy, but I just wanted to get to art class so that I could work out my emotions the only way I knew how. I eventually got to do so, but I also was very sad. I couldn't understand why someone would do that. I didn't blame Islam, though. I blamed those individuals. I wanted to do something, and for years after, even now, I have played with the idea of joining the military to fight for my country. The one that was attacked with, as far as I can tell, no prompting.
But things have changed in the past 15 years. More animosity and hate is spread around to all. In 6th grade, I was friends with a Muslim girl, a black girl, a black boy, a Jewish boy, a bi-sexual boy, a lesbian, and all sorts of other kids. We didn't see a difference in each others skin color, heritage, religion, or sexual preferences. We just saw who was a dance kid, who was a theatre kid, who was a visual arts kid, who played an instrument. That's how we were 'divided' but even that didn't stop us.
It's still how I view the world. All of these labels that cause so much hate are unnecessary. They only cause more pain and strife and hatred. Why can't the guy walking down the street be just a dancer, or just an artist, or just a band geek? Why can't the girl driving next to jamming to rap music just be the dancer with curly hair, or the theatre soprano?
Why do we have to justify each other and our hatred with pointing out skin color or religious markers? Why can't just accept that we harbor some hatred and then try to change that feeling? Why do we have to feed it? Why do we have to build up the hatred? Why can't we just love each other?
For those that quote the bible.... why can't you remember that rule that Jesus made up - forget the commandments, this is my only commandment - love one another.
Why is love so hard for everyone?
EVERYONE is pained by remembering the travesty from 15 years ago. But there is a whole new generation that wasn't even alive when it happened. Every child in grade school either can't remember it because they were 3 years old or younger, or weren't even born yet. Why are we teaching them hate? Why can't we teach them love?
But whats painful is that on this day of remembrance, on this day of reflection, people are still attacking each other. They think that an image of the twin towers will offend some people, namely Islamic people and Muslims. But the thing is, that is not true for most of that population. What offends them is that you think they were not affected either.
Even more painful is that, 3 months ago, in my city of Orlando - more hatred caused more death and even more pain. 49 angels will never be seen again, and finally, the 50+ survivors are all home. But some people have already forgotten that travesty too. They are back to pushing political rhetoric about how love is really only between a man and woman. They are so very wrong.
Ask any child, just like I knew back when I was 11, that anyone can love anyone. That we should all love each other, that we just need to focus on the love, not the hate.
Today is a huge whirl of emotions all over this amazing country, but people are still lashing out. People are still angry. And even though it is 15 years later, I STILL can't understand how so much hate and anger can be harboured by so many people.
Even those who follow other religions know that love is number 1 - taking care of others, being good and nice is what should be default. I just struggle so much with wrapping my head around the idea of such angry people that they can only attack, not uplift.
As I reflect, and can remember nearly every detail where I was during both tragedies, what sticks out most, is that I tried to show my love for others as much as I could. The attacks of September 11, 2001 cemented the idea that I just want to help others and let them know they are loved. The attack of June 12, 2016 reminded me of that, and has pushed me forward in my mission to show love and not hate.
I hope that everyone can find it in their hearts to show only love, even if only for this one day.
If you would like some help with that, just watch these two videos/listen to these songs:
https://youtu.be/3iy2L9VeUfc (Sound of Silence by Disturbed, 9/11 video)
https://youtu.be/tnumaX_EJhE (Hands, tribute song for Orlando, GLAAD lyric video)
So, until next time--
Friday, July 29, 2016
A Tribute to my Friend (And Why Society Sucks): A Story About Depression
It is very difficult to vent any kind of feelings or frustrations when it feels like you don't have anyone to do it to. Sure, I could write in a private journal, but I would like to seek advice of my peers and maybe I want to be reassured that there is someone out there who cares or will listen.
I do suffer from depression and anxiety, though. So maybe it is all in my head. Maybe those two things make everything seem worse. Or maybe they just make things plain worse.
In our society, even in 2016, someone suffering from depression and/or anxiety generally will not feel like they can just come out and say it. Society shames those who have any kind affliction, especially depression or anxiety. Some of the things that I have heard the most is "just get over it" or "well, don't think that way". Do you think I ENJOY feeling sad and feeling like the world hates me? Do you think I WANT to hole myself away all day? Do you think I LIKE to feel like a burden to anyone I meet? No one wants, enjoys, or likes any of those things except abusers. Someone who suffers from depression and anxiety just wants to feel normal. We want to be happy like society demands we be. But sometimes, we just can't. It is literally our body doing it for us. Depression and anxiety are both caused (in most cases) by chemical imbalances in the brain. It's not like anyone who suffers wants it to happen. They haven't done anything to cause it upon themselves, it is literally out of their control.
But it's just like any other illness - a cold, strep throat, cancer, the flu.
All it takes is some love and care.
My depression causes there to be a dark cloud in my brain, casting shadows and rain on all of the things that I love and enjoy. The anxiety does not help, as it ties up those things in bonds that can't be broken. It's torturous sometimes. Some days, I can fight it a little bit better and it's more like a sun shower and there's rope laying on the ground that could come up and tie me, but right now, it's just hanging out there. There's also days where the dark storm and the rope don't exist at all. But it's hard to tell.
Medicine can help sometimes, but each person is different. I have tried many different medicines that have worked for a little while, but then my body got used to them. I've tried medications that made me feel even worse than just dealing with the depression and anxiety on my own. But for me, every day is so different that taking the same dose of medication doesn't work. And it sucks. I have come up with some small coping mechanisms, but many days, it's just a 'hope for the best' kind of situation.
But it doesn't make me any less of a person.
Yet, society (and my brain) do a really good job making me feel like I would a better or person or even that society would function better if I was not suffering, or if I was not even here.
But a year ago, I saw the damage that kind of thinking does. And even before that, a few other times, I saw and felt what it was like for the world to lose someone who couldn't stand the thoughts anymore - whose dark storm was not letting up.
I lost my best friend from high school to depression and anxiety. We both knew the other suffered and we helped each other through, even into college. But there was a point where she moved away to a far away state, and I moved too, so that we could continue college at Universities. We still talked, but the times got less frequent, we grew apart, I had actually forgotten that I had a best friend once upon a time. And then, last summer, one random day, I see on Facebook that she's in the hospital. I didn't get a lot of details, but ours later, she's getting tagged in a hundred posts. She was gone.
She had tried to pull through, but it didn't work. My best friend, the one who knew the most secrets, the one I had shared so much with, sang with, laughed with, wrote with, danced with, survived high school with, was gone. And now, a year later, it still hurts. And it makes me REALLY wish that she did not have to suffer. I makes me HATE that science has not found a good enough solution to helping depression or anxiety. It makes me cry. Because it could have been me. It may be me in the future.
When you suffer enough, you test out ways to hurt yourself. You see what could maybe work. I know. I've tried. But when you're able to stop, it's like being in AA. You deserve to get a token for being 'clean' for a year, 5 years, even 5 days. Because everyday is a battle when you have depression. Everyday is a battle when you have anxiety. So when you manage to go without, it's good.
I know my friend had gone without for a time period, as we had made a promise to each other at one point to not do it. We managed it for awhile. But we both broke it. I can't say I know everything she did her last few months, but I know that I feel terrible. I blame myself. I blame her family. I blame her friends. I blame her. But mostly, I blame society. It's not fair for me to blame anyone, but society must take the fall for this one. Without the conception that people should be ashamed to be afflicited by depression, she could have gotten help. She could have been more open about it. A lot of people would. A lot more beautiful souls would still be with us today. I have lost at least 4 friends to same thing. Shame. I didn't lose them to depression or anxiety. I lost them to shame. Society made them ashamed for what they felt, when they couldn't help it one bit. I have been ashamed for feeling sad or scared because it's "not normal". But who is that fair to? No one. All it has caused it beautiful, caring souls to be gone from this world.
Whenever someone takes their own life, you always hear that 'they were so happy' and they 'were such a good person' and that we 'never saw it coming'. Why? Because we know what it feels like to suffer. We know what it's like to have a constant dark cloud. So we make your day better. We smile even if we don't feel happy. We make jokes, we're artists, we compliment you, we offer help, we love unconditionally. Because we don't want anyone feeling the same way that we do most of the time.
"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.''-Anonymous
If you have friends, let them know you care too. Make someone's day, even if you're having a terrible one. You never know what kind of internal battle someone may be fighting.
So, until next time--
I do suffer from depression and anxiety, though. So maybe it is all in my head. Maybe those two things make everything seem worse. Or maybe they just make things plain worse.
In our society, even in 2016, someone suffering from depression and/or anxiety generally will not feel like they can just come out and say it. Society shames those who have any kind affliction, especially depression or anxiety. Some of the things that I have heard the most is "just get over it" or "well, don't think that way". Do you think I ENJOY feeling sad and feeling like the world hates me? Do you think I WANT to hole myself away all day? Do you think I LIKE to feel like a burden to anyone I meet? No one wants, enjoys, or likes any of those things except abusers. Someone who suffers from depression and anxiety just wants to feel normal. We want to be happy like society demands we be. But sometimes, we just can't. It is literally our body doing it for us. Depression and anxiety are both caused (in most cases) by chemical imbalances in the brain. It's not like anyone who suffers wants it to happen. They haven't done anything to cause it upon themselves, it is literally out of their control.
But it's just like any other illness - a cold, strep throat, cancer, the flu.
All it takes is some love and care.
My depression causes there to be a dark cloud in my brain, casting shadows and rain on all of the things that I love and enjoy. The anxiety does not help, as it ties up those things in bonds that can't be broken. It's torturous sometimes. Some days, I can fight it a little bit better and it's more like a sun shower and there's rope laying on the ground that could come up and tie me, but right now, it's just hanging out there. There's also days where the dark storm and the rope don't exist at all. But it's hard to tell.
Medicine can help sometimes, but each person is different. I have tried many different medicines that have worked for a little while, but then my body got used to them. I've tried medications that made me feel even worse than just dealing with the depression and anxiety on my own. But for me, every day is so different that taking the same dose of medication doesn't work. And it sucks. I have come up with some small coping mechanisms, but many days, it's just a 'hope for the best' kind of situation.
But it doesn't make me any less of a person.
Yet, society (and my brain) do a really good job making me feel like I would a better or person or even that society would function better if I was not suffering, or if I was not even here.
But a year ago, I saw the damage that kind of thinking does. And even before that, a few other times, I saw and felt what it was like for the world to lose someone who couldn't stand the thoughts anymore - whose dark storm was not letting up.
I lost my best friend from high school to depression and anxiety. We both knew the other suffered and we helped each other through, even into college. But there was a point where she moved away to a far away state, and I moved too, so that we could continue college at Universities. We still talked, but the times got less frequent, we grew apart, I had actually forgotten that I had a best friend once upon a time. And then, last summer, one random day, I see on Facebook that she's in the hospital. I didn't get a lot of details, but ours later, she's getting tagged in a hundred posts. She was gone.
She had tried to pull through, but it didn't work. My best friend, the one who knew the most secrets, the one I had shared so much with, sang with, laughed with, wrote with, danced with, survived high school with, was gone. And now, a year later, it still hurts. And it makes me REALLY wish that she did not have to suffer. I makes me HATE that science has not found a good enough solution to helping depression or anxiety. It makes me cry. Because it could have been me. It may be me in the future.
When you suffer enough, you test out ways to hurt yourself. You see what could maybe work. I know. I've tried. But when you're able to stop, it's like being in AA. You deserve to get a token for being 'clean' for a year, 5 years, even 5 days. Because everyday is a battle when you have depression. Everyday is a battle when you have anxiety. So when you manage to go without, it's good.
I know my friend had gone without for a time period, as we had made a promise to each other at one point to not do it. We managed it for awhile. But we both broke it. I can't say I know everything she did her last few months, but I know that I feel terrible. I blame myself. I blame her family. I blame her friends. I blame her. But mostly, I blame society. It's not fair for me to blame anyone, but society must take the fall for this one. Without the conception that people should be ashamed to be afflicited by depression, she could have gotten help. She could have been more open about it. A lot of people would. A lot more beautiful souls would still be with us today. I have lost at least 4 friends to same thing. Shame. I didn't lose them to depression or anxiety. I lost them to shame. Society made them ashamed for what they felt, when they couldn't help it one bit. I have been ashamed for feeling sad or scared because it's "not normal". But who is that fair to? No one. All it has caused it beautiful, caring souls to be gone from this world.
Whenever someone takes their own life, you always hear that 'they were so happy' and they 'were such a good person' and that we 'never saw it coming'. Why? Because we know what it feels like to suffer. We know what it's like to have a constant dark cloud. So we make your day better. We smile even if we don't feel happy. We make jokes, we're artists, we compliment you, we offer help, we love unconditionally. Because we don't want anyone feeling the same way that we do most of the time.
"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.''-Anonymous
If you have friends, let them know you care too. Make someone's day, even if you're having a terrible one. You never know what kind of internal battle someone may be fighting.
So, until next time--
Thursday, April 21, 2016
The Big Move (Into a Quarter-Life Crisis)
I have lived in Florida my entire life. I have lived in 3 major cities, having made 7 moves from different addresses. The first move of my life was when I was about 4, a year after Hurricane Andrew (that I apparently slept right through) to a house from a condo. It was to the house I grew up in and the house I lived at until I was 21 when I went away to a University. My parents are looking at retiring in about 5 years and want to sell it. I don't like that because it's my home base. I wouldn't really call it home, because home seems to be where I am, but it is the familiar home base that I can go for a long weekend and not have to worry about much of anything. Since I work from "home" I can even take a 4 hour drive to visit and also do work in a refreshing environment. My mom is already trying to load off a room full of boxes to clean out the house. I keep telling her to chill, they have time. It will be weird, the day that I can't call that home base anymore. The day that I won't be able to visit my childhood home will be a sad day. There are a lot of great and not so great memories there, but it's mine. Mine alone. Even though I am not an only child, I'm the only one that was raised there. It holds a special place in my heart. It's also about a 15 minute drive from my most favourite place on the earth. My parents sell that house, I lose all of that connection. The memories live on in my mind, but the chances of me visiting that city again a very small.
The other 6 moves I have made have been in the past 5 years. One a year - after the first year. First was a move to student housing for attending university and since I started 2 years in I didn't have to live in a dorm and I felt that I was mature enough to do so. I was mature enough but there was still a bit of a random factor in there. About 4 months in, we had to move. I had moved in with my long-term boyfriend, his best friend, and his best friends' wife. She hated me. It ended horribly and with little dignity. I got placed in another apartment with a random girl that I had at least gotten the chance to meet face-to-face and text with a few times. She was great. My boyfriend had to move to another apartment. His roommates were cool. We got a third girl shortly after I moved in and she was a horrible roommate. I got that crazy experience under my belt. At the end of the lease, boyfriend and I (the one early blog posts are about) moved in together. That was move #4. That year was great, but after I graduated he broke up with me and I moved closer to my work at Disney (which is no longer a thing). I moved to Orlando. O-Town! That was move #5.
Since I have made at initial move to Orlando, I am now at my third place and we are talking about moving again! Why? Well, we wanted to stay and had decided that we would not move. But there is a lot that has happened in the past year. The maintenance here is so-so and we had bugs again. It wasn't the worst and we did get rid of the bugs again. But what sealed the deal for us was how one of the office staff members treated me. We had gotten served an eviction notice (due to their online system failing) and I called to try fix it but after sounding panicked, she called me an animal and hung up on me. Sadly, the property manager does not seem to care and she is still an employee there. We want to GTFO. But it's okay, because I have about a 60% chance that I will have to move for work when the lease expires, so that helps make the decision EVEN EASIER.
But now, I'm having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I want to go back to school and am applying to go back to school this week. That's huge. I applied for a job at the home office/headquarters of where I work now. I would be required to move again. But not just somewhere else in Florida - I would have to move to a brand new state, to a place that is a 20 hour drive away from here. It's at least a 3 hour flight. It's 12 states away. It's New Hampshire. I couldn't be more excited and more terrified. "New" boyfriend (the one I have been with for almost 2 years now) would not move with me. Queue anxiety freakout. I've also been given an offer to do similar work, still with the same type of work and technically with the same company, but from an outside source (seriously, this would make so much more sense if you knew what my job was - clearly I'll just have to write another post about it). But, I would get to stay in the Orlando area, we would just have to move to the west side of town so that I would be closer since I could not work from "home" with that job. I do also have the option of renewing my current contract and doing the same job for another year.
But that's why I keep moving. I'm learning how a home, my home, should be. I am seeing the world through new eyes and I'm learning what features I do and don't want. I'm learning and seeing how the world around me works in a different way. I like it, but man is it giving me gray hairs! Good thing I dyed it purple yesterday.
So now I have a lot of options on my menu, it's just a matter of picking which entree I want and what sides to I pick to go with it? Do I make it a pick 2? Do I just go with the largest plate and say 'screw you, sides!'? I don't know. It's nerve-wracking and a little upsetting. It also doesn't help that I am in a depressive low, currently. It's tough being an adult.
So, until next time--
The other 6 moves I have made have been in the past 5 years. One a year - after the first year. First was a move to student housing for attending university and since I started 2 years in I didn't have to live in a dorm and I felt that I was mature enough to do so. I was mature enough but there was still a bit of a random factor in there. About 4 months in, we had to move. I had moved in with my long-term boyfriend, his best friend, and his best friends' wife. She hated me. It ended horribly and with little dignity. I got placed in another apartment with a random girl that I had at least gotten the chance to meet face-to-face and text with a few times. She was great. My boyfriend had to move to another apartment. His roommates were cool. We got a third girl shortly after I moved in and she was a horrible roommate. I got that crazy experience under my belt. At the end of the lease, boyfriend and I (the one early blog posts are about) moved in together. That was move #4. That year was great, but after I graduated he broke up with me and I moved closer to my work at Disney (which is no longer a thing). I moved to Orlando. O-Town! That was move #5.
Since I have made at initial move to Orlando, I am now at my third place and we are talking about moving again! Why? Well, we wanted to stay and had decided that we would not move. But there is a lot that has happened in the past year. The maintenance here is so-so and we had bugs again. It wasn't the worst and we did get rid of the bugs again. But what sealed the deal for us was how one of the office staff members treated me. We had gotten served an eviction notice (due to their online system failing) and I called to try fix it but after sounding panicked, she called me an animal and hung up on me. Sadly, the property manager does not seem to care and she is still an employee there. We want to GTFO. But it's okay, because I have about a 60% chance that I will have to move for work when the lease expires, so that helps make the decision EVEN EASIER.
But now, I'm having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I want to go back to school and am applying to go back to school this week. That's huge. I applied for a job at the home office/headquarters of where I work now. I would be required to move again. But not just somewhere else in Florida - I would have to move to a brand new state, to a place that is a 20 hour drive away from here. It's at least a 3 hour flight. It's 12 states away. It's New Hampshire. I couldn't be more excited and more terrified. "New" boyfriend (the one I have been with for almost 2 years now) would not move with me. Queue anxiety freakout. I've also been given an offer to do similar work, still with the same type of work and technically with the same company, but from an outside source (seriously, this would make so much more sense if you knew what my job was - clearly I'll just have to write another post about it). But, I would get to stay in the Orlando area, we would just have to move to the west side of town so that I would be closer since I could not work from "home" with that job. I do also have the option of renewing my current contract and doing the same job for another year.
But that's why I keep moving. I'm learning how a home, my home, should be. I am seeing the world through new eyes and I'm learning what features I do and don't want. I'm learning and seeing how the world around me works in a different way. I like it, but man is it giving me gray hairs! Good thing I dyed it purple yesterday.
So now I have a lot of options on my menu, it's just a matter of picking which entree I want and what sides to I pick to go with it? Do I make it a pick 2? Do I just go with the largest plate and say 'screw you, sides!'? I don't know. It's nerve-wracking and a little upsetting. It also doesn't help that I am in a depressive low, currently. It's tough being an adult.
So, until next time--
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Across the Universe
Something that I have always wanted to do is to experience the entirety of human kind. I don't just mean traveling anywhere and everywhere, although I do want to do that, I also mean the entire history of human kind. I know that it is absolutely impossible to live for eternity, but I would love to have done so. The things that the world has seen, what we have learned and created, the ways that we have evolved not only as creatures but also the things that we have created.
I have always been obsessed with history and the past and how humans behaved, what they wore, I love to people watch whenever I am out in crowds.
One of the points of history that really always intrigues me the most in World War II and a few decades that followed. The Second World War tore up countries, families, schools, entire civilizations. In America, if you were a male the age of 17 or older, your name was in for the draft. Families would sit at home and wait to hear on the radio or watch on tv to see if their son, brother, father, cousin, best friend, husband, boyfriend, themselves, got drafted. It created terror and panic, never knowing when you would be safe or if you were being shipped out. The draft was still around for the next few decades as well for other wars such as the Korean or Vietnam wars. There was almost nothing that could prevent you from going.
These days, young men and women willingly and gladly sign up to go to war. Sure, there were some in the past that felt it was their duty, their right, their privilege to go fight for 'Uncle Sam'... but those were the ones who didn't know what it could do to you - those were the men who had an easy way out because Daddy was a lawyer, or they were taught that it was the highest honor to have.
I'm not saying anything negative about veterans - they are some of the bravest people that walk this space rock we live on and they deserve the best treatment in the world. They not only sacrificed their bodies to war (not always coming back whole), but they sacrificed their minds.
Being shoved into a war at the ripe age of 18, having spent your whole life up to that point being loved and cared for (in most cases) regardless of what your social standing or race was, really messed you up. So many soldiers then and now have come back from war with no visible injuries or scars. But the ones that hurt the most are the internal ones. Being shipped to a foreign country, being forced to gun down innocent people, being scared every single moment of every single day..... I can't even imagine how taxing that would be on someone.
In the past, it was very easily even worse. Mental illnesses have had such a stigma in our past that only now are people being treated with respect. If you already had a preexisting condition and then were sent into war.... there's no telling how much damage that did and has done.
Being forced to stay at home as well, knowing that you brother, father, uncle, best friend, husband, was in the middle of a war zone.... having constant anxiety about when someone might show up on your door-step with a letter and dog tags.... having your entire life ripped apart by the start of a war. For the most part, it's impossible for me to imagine waking up one morning and having that happen. Except it kind of did. The draft has not been in place for many years now though, so that has never been a worry for my generation or even the previous one, really. But there are children in this world, in America, that have never known a peaceful day. Granted the war has never come to our soil and without the draft, without it being a full-scale World War, it is nowhere near as bad.
But I wish I could have been there, in the past. Not only to experience it (maybe because I'm crazy because who wants to experience that kind of terror) but to be there for those who needed a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could have been in every single moment of history, the experience it for myself, to better understand why parents are the way they are, to know and be able to say 'I understand' to someone telling me a story and actually be able to understand.
I am a seeker of knowledge and I feel like the past is the best knowledge that we could ever have as humans. Sure, we technically already have the knowledge of what was learned and the facts (or false statements) of what happened, but I feel like experience is the truest teacher of them all. Without experience you have nothing - you have not lived.
One of my goals for 2016 is to travel outside of the country, which is something that I have never technically done. I've only ever been to 12 states in the United States and I have been to the Bahamas twice, stepping onto two islands for no more than 2 hours at a time (got injured on the first one 90 minutes in and the other I was in a wheelchair from said injury). I have not done any kind of crazy roadtrip across the country, I have never gotten to study abroad (no matter how many times I wish I have), I have not sneaked out to go to a concert or party in the middle of the night, I barely broke the law when it comes to underage drinking. I have never felt like I have ever experience life or the world. Sure, I've been all over the state of Florida, it's a huge state. Yet I still haven't even been to Capitol. I am finally going this month, at the ripe age of 26. Finally, a trip to the panhandle.
But this year, I will travel, I will live, I will love, I will experience life like I never have before.
This post was originally to talk about my love for history and wanting to have all of those experiences of the world, but I guess what I really wanted to get out was that since I can't, I'm going to do it this way. The only way that I can - exploring, loving, creating, and living.
I have always been obsessed with history and the past and how humans behaved, what they wore, I love to people watch whenever I am out in crowds.
One of the points of history that really always intrigues me the most in World War II and a few decades that followed. The Second World War tore up countries, families, schools, entire civilizations. In America, if you were a male the age of 17 or older, your name was in for the draft. Families would sit at home and wait to hear on the radio or watch on tv to see if their son, brother, father, cousin, best friend, husband, boyfriend, themselves, got drafted. It created terror and panic, never knowing when you would be safe or if you were being shipped out. The draft was still around for the next few decades as well for other wars such as the Korean or Vietnam wars. There was almost nothing that could prevent you from going.
These days, young men and women willingly and gladly sign up to go to war. Sure, there were some in the past that felt it was their duty, their right, their privilege to go fight for 'Uncle Sam'... but those were the ones who didn't know what it could do to you - those were the men who had an easy way out because Daddy was a lawyer, or they were taught that it was the highest honor to have.
I'm not saying anything negative about veterans - they are some of the bravest people that walk this space rock we live on and they deserve the best treatment in the world. They not only sacrificed their bodies to war (not always coming back whole), but they sacrificed their minds.
Being shoved into a war at the ripe age of 18, having spent your whole life up to that point being loved and cared for (in most cases) regardless of what your social standing or race was, really messed you up. So many soldiers then and now have come back from war with no visible injuries or scars. But the ones that hurt the most are the internal ones. Being shipped to a foreign country, being forced to gun down innocent people, being scared every single moment of every single day..... I can't even imagine how taxing that would be on someone.
In the past, it was very easily even worse. Mental illnesses have had such a stigma in our past that only now are people being treated with respect. If you already had a preexisting condition and then were sent into war.... there's no telling how much damage that did and has done.
Being forced to stay at home as well, knowing that you brother, father, uncle, best friend, husband, was in the middle of a war zone.... having constant anxiety about when someone might show up on your door-step with a letter and dog tags.... having your entire life ripped apart by the start of a war. For the most part, it's impossible for me to imagine waking up one morning and having that happen. Except it kind of did. The draft has not been in place for many years now though, so that has never been a worry for my generation or even the previous one, really. But there are children in this world, in America, that have never known a peaceful day. Granted the war has never come to our soil and without the draft, without it being a full-scale World War, it is nowhere near as bad.
But I wish I could have been there, in the past. Not only to experience it (maybe because I'm crazy because who wants to experience that kind of terror) but to be there for those who needed a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could have been in every single moment of history, the experience it for myself, to better understand why parents are the way they are, to know and be able to say 'I understand' to someone telling me a story and actually be able to understand.
I am a seeker of knowledge and I feel like the past is the best knowledge that we could ever have as humans. Sure, we technically already have the knowledge of what was learned and the facts (or false statements) of what happened, but I feel like experience is the truest teacher of them all. Without experience you have nothing - you have not lived.
One of my goals for 2016 is to travel outside of the country, which is something that I have never technically done. I've only ever been to 12 states in the United States and I have been to the Bahamas twice, stepping onto two islands for no more than 2 hours at a time (got injured on the first one 90 minutes in and the other I was in a wheelchair from said injury). I have not done any kind of crazy roadtrip across the country, I have never gotten to study abroad (no matter how many times I wish I have), I have not sneaked out to go to a concert or party in the middle of the night, I barely broke the law when it comes to underage drinking. I have never felt like I have ever experience life or the world. Sure, I've been all over the state of Florida, it's a huge state. Yet I still haven't even been to Capitol. I am finally going this month, at the ripe age of 26. Finally, a trip to the panhandle.
But this year, I will travel, I will live, I will love, I will experience life like I never have before.
This post was originally to talk about my love for history and wanting to have all of those experiences of the world, but I guess what I really wanted to get out was that since I can't, I'm going to do it this way. The only way that I can - exploring, loving, creating, and living.
Monday, April 21, 2014
My Body and Alcohol: Part I
I noticed something interesting one night recently. Alcohol does not give me hang-overs. This is pretty awesome, if I were say, a party animal. But I'm not. However, it got me doing some research and eventually lead to experiments.
According to multiple sources, it takes the human body at least an hour to metabolize a single alcoholic drink (one shot of hard liquor, one beer, etc.) at the normal level of alcohol per volume percentage. I had a feeling that did not apply to me in the slightest.
I already know that my body tends to have trouble absorbing medication and nutrients via oral consumption. I have a bit more luck with liquid than solids, but it generally takes a consistent flow of injections for my body to really absorb what it needs. The main I know this is because I have experience in dealing with that particular issue and certain vitamins.
I also know that my stomach and all the other organs involved metabolise my food very quickly. I don't just mean moving the food from my stomach to intestines, etc. I mean doing all of that PLUS breaking it down and using it properly. That's part of the reason I don't absorb everything I need, because my stomach and organs do their work quickly, not efficiently.
So I've decided to start recording my tolerance, absorption and effects of alcohol, specifically with time so that I can see if my body truly does metabolise alcohol quicker than everyone else.
Currently, I can only go by what I feel and do as I don't have a way to test my breath or blood, but I have a feeling I will be able to figure out how to do that soon because my inane curiosity will get the better of me. The first recording is from earlier tonight as follows:
18:40 - start drinking Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade (5.8% alc/vol) and eating a salad
18:50 - finish eating salad
19:00 - finish off Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade
19:20 - start to feel alcoholy effects
19:35 - alcoholy effects start to wear off
19:40 - alcoholy effects are gone
I really hope that I don't have to explain what "alcoholy effects" are to anyone, if you've ever had alcohol, you know what I mean. It looks like it takes my body very little time to fully process one alcoholic drink. From the time of starting my drink to when the effects were completely gone, it was one measly hour of the night. That is nothing!
You may be thinking that sure, that's great, but you're probably a heavy drinker or something like that. Except I'm not. I can tell you for a fact (and have witnesses to prove it) that it only takes three shots of whiskey to get me fall over drunk. I'm pretty light-weight when it comes to drinking. That is one of the reasons why I'm so interested in how quickly my body processes the alcohol; because it would stand to reason that if I (or anyone) drank two bottles of wine, had 7 shots and then 9 beers over the course of a night, they would have blacked out and had a wicked hang-over in the morning. Except that didn't happen. Well, that consumption of alcohol did, but the morning after, there was a vague headache and some nausea, although that was more than likely caused by the concussion I had procured during the night rather than from the alcohol, but who knows? That party also happened quite awhile ago and we all know that body chemistry changes as you age.
Regardless, I want to find out how my body processes alcohol because if my body can regularly do as recorded earlier tonight, I will be damn impressed and also be able to help myself when it comes to getting the proper nutrition that I need.
It should be noted that a)All food from prior in the day had already made it past the point of no return and b)I should also record my output (peeing) and will do so in the future.
So cheers to science and discoveries and may the odds be ever in my favour!
According to multiple sources, it takes the human body at least an hour to metabolize a single alcoholic drink (one shot of hard liquor, one beer, etc.) at the normal level of alcohol per volume percentage. I had a feeling that did not apply to me in the slightest.
I already know that my body tends to have trouble absorbing medication and nutrients via oral consumption. I have a bit more luck with liquid than solids, but it generally takes a consistent flow of injections for my body to really absorb what it needs. The main I know this is because I have experience in dealing with that particular issue and certain vitamins.
I also know that my stomach and all the other organs involved metabolise my food very quickly. I don't just mean moving the food from my stomach to intestines, etc. I mean doing all of that PLUS breaking it down and using it properly. That's part of the reason I don't absorb everything I need, because my stomach and organs do their work quickly, not efficiently.
So I've decided to start recording my tolerance, absorption and effects of alcohol, specifically with time so that I can see if my body truly does metabolise alcohol quicker than everyone else.
Currently, I can only go by what I feel and do as I don't have a way to test my breath or blood, but I have a feeling I will be able to figure out how to do that soon because my inane curiosity will get the better of me. The first recording is from earlier tonight as follows:
18:40 - start drinking Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade (5.8% alc/vol) and eating a salad
18:50 - finish eating salad
19:00 - finish off Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade
19:20 - start to feel alcoholy effects
19:35 - alcoholy effects start to wear off
19:40 - alcoholy effects are gone
I really hope that I don't have to explain what "alcoholy effects" are to anyone, if you've ever had alcohol, you know what I mean. It looks like it takes my body very little time to fully process one alcoholic drink. From the time of starting my drink to when the effects were completely gone, it was one measly hour of the night. That is nothing!
You may be thinking that sure, that's great, but you're probably a heavy drinker or something like that. Except I'm not. I can tell you for a fact (and have witnesses to prove it) that it only takes three shots of whiskey to get me fall over drunk. I'm pretty light-weight when it comes to drinking. That is one of the reasons why I'm so interested in how quickly my body processes the alcohol; because it would stand to reason that if I (or anyone) drank two bottles of wine, had 7 shots and then 9 beers over the course of a night, they would have blacked out and had a wicked hang-over in the morning. Except that didn't happen. Well, that consumption of alcohol did, but the morning after, there was a vague headache and some nausea, although that was more than likely caused by the concussion I had procured during the night rather than from the alcohol, but who knows? That party also happened quite awhile ago and we all know that body chemistry changes as you age.
Regardless, I want to find out how my body processes alcohol because if my body can regularly do as recorded earlier tonight, I will be damn impressed and also be able to help myself when it comes to getting the proper nutrition that I need.
It should be noted that a)All food from prior in the day had already made it past the point of no return and b)I should also record my output (peeing) and will do so in the future.
So cheers to science and discoveries and may the odds be ever in my favour!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
The Next Chapter of My Life
Well boys and girls, it's official - I will be starting the next chapter of my life come Saturday. It's technically already started, but not actually.
So, I bet you are wondering what that next chapter is, huh? Well, you are about to find out!
If you recall, a few weeks ago, I made the post about how my epic Disney day was not going to happen anymore. It was a sad sad day. However, there were a few reasons for it not happening. The first, most major reason was that I found out I had yet another stress fracture in my foot and so the doctor put me in a boot and crutches. I hate crutches, they are going to be the death of me. I have been using them off and on for the last 15 years, give or take a few months. The first time I had to use crutches was when my growth plate moved out of place due to an incident during after-school cheerleading. Long story, that, but I was in an air cast and crutches for at least 6 weeks. I literally wore that thing out. I am not kidding you, either. A day or two before I was allowed to take it off, it fell apart. Not only am I good at injuring myself, I'm also really good at causing medical equipment to fail.
The other reason that my Disney epic day did not happen was because, even though my annual pass was about to expire, I did not have to worry about having to save up to visit Disney anytime I wanted to. Well, you may ask me, how is that? The reason, dear readers, is because I have new pass! Yaaayyyy!!!!!! Except you are probably confused as to how I got one or why when I was complaining about the cost. Well, it's because it didn't cost me anything. How is that possible?
It's all thanks to that little button right there.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, your favourite blogger (or at least I will pretend I'm your favourite blogger) is now a Disney Cast Member!!!!! Woohoo!!!! Let's throw a party! (Seriously, I like parties!)
So, that is Phase 2 of the next chapter of my life - working for Disney. But as you may know, as of right now, I have to drive around 70 miles to get to work, at Disney, indeed the most magical place on Earth. It is not fun, nor is it convenient. So, that is where Phase 3 comes in - I must move! Again. For the 4th time in 2 years.
The first move I ever made outside of my hometown was a little less than 2 years ago, when I moved to the Tampa area to attend school at the University of South Florida. In fact, I started this blog right around that time. Not even 6 months later, I was moving again, although not very far at all, just into another apartment of the same complex. Then last summer, I moved to where I am now and now, come the end of summer, I will move again, to the Orlando area.
You may notice I skipped a phase there, however. I skipped Phase 1. But that's because Phase 1 happened already, almost 2 months ago. Phase 1 was when I became single again. It was not exactly my choice, but it happened. But that's how life is, it changes on you in an instant. It may not always be what you want, sometimes it changes to something you despise, other times the change makes you the happiest person on the planet. But it's life and it is unpredictable so you just go with it.
So, I bet you are wondering what that next chapter is, huh? Well, you are about to find out!
If you recall, a few weeks ago, I made the post about how my epic Disney day was not going to happen anymore. It was a sad sad day. However, there were a few reasons for it not happening. The first, most major reason was that I found out I had yet another stress fracture in my foot and so the doctor put me in a boot and crutches. I hate crutches, they are going to be the death of me. I have been using them off and on for the last 15 years, give or take a few months. The first time I had to use crutches was when my growth plate moved out of place due to an incident during after-school cheerleading. Long story, that, but I was in an air cast and crutches for at least 6 weeks. I literally wore that thing out. I am not kidding you, either. A day or two before I was allowed to take it off, it fell apart. Not only am I good at injuring myself, I'm also really good at causing medical equipment to fail.
The other reason that my Disney epic day did not happen was because, even though my annual pass was about to expire, I did not have to worry about having to save up to visit Disney anytime I wanted to. Well, you may ask me, how is that? The reason, dear readers, is because I have new pass! Yaaayyyy!!!!!! Except you are probably confused as to how I got one or why when I was complaining about the cost. Well, it's because it didn't cost me anything. How is that possible?
It's all thanks to that little button right there.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, your favourite blogger (or at least I will pretend I'm your favourite blogger) is now a Disney Cast Member!!!!! Woohoo!!!! Let's throw a party! (Seriously, I like parties!)
So, that is Phase 2 of the next chapter of my life - working for Disney. But as you may know, as of right now, I have to drive around 70 miles to get to work, at Disney, indeed the most magical place on Earth. It is not fun, nor is it convenient. So, that is where Phase 3 comes in - I must move! Again. For the 4th time in 2 years.
The first move I ever made outside of my hometown was a little less than 2 years ago, when I moved to the Tampa area to attend school at the University of South Florida. In fact, I started this blog right around that time. Not even 6 months later, I was moving again, although not very far at all, just into another apartment of the same complex. Then last summer, I moved to where I am now and now, come the end of summer, I will move again, to the Orlando area.
You may notice I skipped a phase there, however. I skipped Phase 1. But that's because Phase 1 happened already, almost 2 months ago. Phase 1 was when I became single again. It was not exactly my choice, but it happened. But that's how life is, it changes on you in an instant. It may not always be what you want, sometimes it changes to something you despise, other times the change makes you the happiest person on the planet. But it's life and it is unpredictable so you just go with it.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Father's Day Poem
Father's Day happened a week ago and I called my dad that day and we talked, but I was at my place because of classes. Well, I am visiting my parents for a few days and my dad, while looking for something else, happened upon a Father's Day Poem I had written for him, ca. 1997. It was not just a poem but a whole collage, with the poem on it. I thought I would share it with y'all because it clearly shows my artistic ability when I younger. So, without further ado....
I'm going to explain everything because some of it is hard to see with this picture. In the top right corner is my attempt at Mickey Mouse wearing Mickey Ears. The images are a golfer, a cherry cake, ham, wine on a table, tulips, fireworks, poker cards, etc. The green thing on top of my amazingly drawn pizza is a pepper. The hammer looking thing is my beautifully mastered golf club and the words on the left side say "building & fixing", "Favorite Colors, Blue, Red, Purple, Yellow" (which is colored over in purple because yellow crayon does not show up on Yellow paper), also around the poem it say "love is in the air" and "I Love You" (but is depicted as an eyeball, with lashes, a heart and the letter "U").
I'm pretty awesome, right? Well apparently I'm even more awesome, according to the poem I wrote. Here is the text, as written on the paper, so you can read for yourself my mad writing skills at the age of 8.
Father's Day Poem
My father is a golfer
He lets me be his tee
He puts his ball upon my
nose, And hits it right off
me. He says that I can
share the joy of every ball
he hits. Oh, ain't it grand
to have a dad Who spends
time with his kid!
Like I said, mad skills. Also, apparently I let my dad use my nose as a tee. I can tell you right now my father never would have allowed that and I have no recollection of that ever occurring, so why I wrote a poem about it is beyond me. But I was 8, so who knows what was going through my mind at the time. We did play golf together, but never in that fashion.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day and many more with their Dad!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Post
Life is hard. I mean life is really really really hard. No one ever tells you that. You are never prepared for what life is going to throw at you. I don't know if anyone ever is. It's not like life is hard in the same way for any two people, either. Some people struggle with an illness, others with bad luck. Some people struggle with who they are, others with never being loved. Some people struggle because nothing seems to be going right, while others are always struggling with doing what's right. Life is a struggle and it's hard. But all you ever hear about in our society is how you are expected to go to college or start out immediately in the work force. If you take the college path, once you are done then you have your career picked out for you and then you go do that, you get married, settle down and have kids, you become a soccer mom or an office dad. Everything is expected of you. Our parents love us, but while they love us, sometimes that love gets misdirected into pushing us to do what they think we should. They do know better - I should know, I fought my parents every step of the way in life and still do today. But sometimes they have an idea of what you are supposed to do and when it doesn't work out the way they expected, they tend to freak out a little bit.
Probably what's even worse is that because of the society we live in, and it being in America, it's not like many people can follow their dreams the way they once did. These days, the people who want to follow their dreams have to add 10 years to their plan because things just aren't working out right.
Add to that, people like me. We are dreamers and want to follow that dream no matter what and we are stubborn as hell. Except for an even worse problem - we don't exactly know what we want to do with our lives. We've been through college, switched majors too many times and have even graduate, only to realise we made a potentially huge mistake. I am proud of myself for having a degree, but I realised that, the degree I have, may not be what I want to do in life. I have had so many experiences and so much has happened in less than a quarter of a century that is my life, and yet I have no direction. I know I want to keep learning and keep experiencing, but that's not a career. There's no way I can afford that, either. So what do I do?
Most likely, I will have to put my adventures on hold until I can pay off my student debt. I can work and do some pretty cool stuff, but not what I want to do. I know it's not what I want to do because I don't feel excited and get giddy. I don't even need a degree for my job. But I do love the company and I know I will enjoy it. But I know it's not quite what I want to do for the rest of my life. But when I ask myself what I do want that to be, I come up blank. I have no idea what I want to do and really, if I'm being honest, I have no idea who I am. That is the probably the hardest thing to come to terms with in my life, is knowing who I am.
I've been told that everyone is trying to figure that out, but if you knew me, you would realise how much it affects me. I'm a planner. I have always had a plan, I have always known what I wanted to do. I am very ambitious and I am very determined. When I realised that I had no idea who I was though, that hit me hard. I didn't cry, but I then realised that I had no idea what kind of emotion you're supposed to feel when you don't know who you are. Do you cry? Do you laugh? Are you depressed? Are you sad? Are you happy because you get to discover yourself through a journey of crazy trials and temptations? Or are you supposed to feel blank?
Then I wonder, maybe I am supposed to feel blank because this is where I get to start over. I get to figure out who I am from the start, feelings and all. Do I abandon my family and everyone I love in the process? Maybe. Maybe I need to, for the time being, so that I can figure out who I am. Maybe I'm supposed to start all over, sell most of my things, throw a dart at a map and just go! Be adventurous, be crazy, do stupid things, eat weird foods, make-out with strangers, get lost in crowd, create amazing memories and find myself along the way, even if it is in bits and pieces. That's what being young is all about, right? Making mistakes and loving and losing and fighting and just living.
So, until next time--
Probably what's even worse is that because of the society we live in, and it being in America, it's not like many people can follow their dreams the way they once did. These days, the people who want to follow their dreams have to add 10 years to their plan because things just aren't working out right.
Add to that, people like me. We are dreamers and want to follow that dream no matter what and we are stubborn as hell. Except for an even worse problem - we don't exactly know what we want to do with our lives. We've been through college, switched majors too many times and have even graduate, only to realise we made a potentially huge mistake. I am proud of myself for having a degree, but I realised that, the degree I have, may not be what I want to do in life. I have had so many experiences and so much has happened in less than a quarter of a century that is my life, and yet I have no direction. I know I want to keep learning and keep experiencing, but that's not a career. There's no way I can afford that, either. So what do I do?
Most likely, I will have to put my adventures on hold until I can pay off my student debt. I can work and do some pretty cool stuff, but not what I want to do. I know it's not what I want to do because I don't feel excited and get giddy. I don't even need a degree for my job. But I do love the company and I know I will enjoy it. But I know it's not quite what I want to do for the rest of my life. But when I ask myself what I do want that to be, I come up blank. I have no idea what I want to do and really, if I'm being honest, I have no idea who I am. That is the probably the hardest thing to come to terms with in my life, is knowing who I am.
I've been told that everyone is trying to figure that out, but if you knew me, you would realise how much it affects me. I'm a planner. I have always had a plan, I have always known what I wanted to do. I am very ambitious and I am very determined. When I realised that I had no idea who I was though, that hit me hard. I didn't cry, but I then realised that I had no idea what kind of emotion you're supposed to feel when you don't know who you are. Do you cry? Do you laugh? Are you depressed? Are you sad? Are you happy because you get to discover yourself through a journey of crazy trials and temptations? Or are you supposed to feel blank?
Then I wonder, maybe I am supposed to feel blank because this is where I get to start over. I get to figure out who I am from the start, feelings and all. Do I abandon my family and everyone I love in the process? Maybe. Maybe I need to, for the time being, so that I can figure out who I am. Maybe I'm supposed to start all over, sell most of my things, throw a dart at a map and just go! Be adventurous, be crazy, do stupid things, eat weird foods, make-out with strangers, get lost in crowd, create amazing memories and find myself along the way, even if it is in bits and pieces. That's what being young is all about, right? Making mistakes and loving and losing and fighting and just living.
So, until next time--
Friday, June 14, 2013
Epic Disney Day!!!!
http://blogs.disney.com/oh-my-disney/
It is fabulous things about Disney, from Disney. Including old photos, cute stories and photos and so much Disney love.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
What 'Harry Potter' and my glasses have in common
I imagine that you have heard about the 'Harry Potter' series at this point in your life. If you have not, you have seriously, truly lived under a rock, or you are still a toddler and are not that advanced in reading yet. Regardless, you should have heard about 'Harry Potter' by now. It first was published 15 years ago That's right! 15 years ago! (Well, the U.S., that is.) Makes you feel old, doesn't it?! Well, it makes me feel old, anyways. I digress. Although, not really because what 'Harry Potter' and my glasses have in common did indeed start 15 years ago....
I was in the 4th grade and had been having trouble seeing the board in class. But I always read when I was supposed to be doing math or science or anything else in class. I also read when I finished my work early. (I've always been a nerd.) My teacher was Mrs. B and to this day is still my most favourite teacher ever. I do have a few other favourites, but she changed my life forever. She actually changed my life for the better. She was the one who realized that I needed glasses and told my parents to get me checked. I needed them badly. This is back in 1998. That means I've had glasses for 15 years as well. Starting to get the correlation a bit? Well, there's more to it.
Not too long after I got my glasses, Mrs. B realized that I was being bullied for having them. It was the 90s, and well, kids have always been cruel. So, she introduced me to book. A book about a little boy, who was not too much older than I was, who had glasses and wait for it.... was bullied. Although, his bully was a Dark Lord and this little boy got to use magic. He was also know around the world. Well, at least the wizarding world. If you haven't quite caught on yet, that little boy was Harry Potter.
Not only did my life change in 1998, it changed in a way that still affects me today, almost 15 years later. But the way that my life changed, has ultimately been for the better. It has shaped who I am and how I act. I am seem crazy for being obsessed with Harry Potter, even now, 2 years after the last film was released, but the truth is, there are so many people out there like me. But also, I really don't care if people think I'm crazy. I got to not only grow up with the book Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Snape and McGonagall and every other character in the series, I was even luckier, I got to grow up with the actors of those characters. Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Evanna Lynch, Bonnie Wright, Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith. I love all of them and don't even mind seeing them in other productions. In fact, it has helped me to watch other films and plays I would not have normally watched.
So, that's it. That is what 'Harry Potter' and my glasses have in common. 1998 and Mrs. B. Two simple things. But at the same time, it is so much more than that. More than I can put into words, so you will just have to take me word for it. Even though it may not have seemed like it at the time, I have come to realize that getting glasses and then being swallowed into the 'Harry Potter' fandom, those two events in my life were probably the best things to ever happen to me.
Has anything changed your life that you will never forget? Do you have something in your life with an odd connection like mine?
I was in the 4th grade and had been having trouble seeing the board in class. But I always read when I was supposed to be doing math or science or anything else in class. I also read when I finished my work early. (I've always been a nerd.) My teacher was Mrs. B and to this day is still my most favourite teacher ever. I do have a few other favourites, but she changed my life forever. She actually changed my life for the better. She was the one who realized that I needed glasses and told my parents to get me checked. I needed them badly. This is back in 1998. That means I've had glasses for 15 years as well. Starting to get the correlation a bit? Well, there's more to it.
Not too long after I got my glasses, Mrs. B realized that I was being bullied for having them. It was the 90s, and well, kids have always been cruel. So, she introduced me to book. A book about a little boy, who was not too much older than I was, who had glasses and wait for it.... was bullied. Although, his bully was a Dark Lord and this little boy got to use magic. He was also know around the world. Well, at least the wizarding world. If you haven't quite caught on yet, that little boy was Harry Potter.
Not only did my life change in 1998, it changed in a way that still affects me today, almost 15 years later. But the way that my life changed, has ultimately been for the better. It has shaped who I am and how I act. I am seem crazy for being obsessed with Harry Potter, even now, 2 years after the last film was released, but the truth is, there are so many people out there like me. But also, I really don't care if people think I'm crazy. I got to not only grow up with the book Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Snape and McGonagall and every other character in the series, I was even luckier, I got to grow up with the actors of those characters. Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Evanna Lynch, Bonnie Wright, Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith. I love all of them and don't even mind seeing them in other productions. In fact, it has helped me to watch other films and plays I would not have normally watched.
So, that's it. That is what 'Harry Potter' and my glasses have in common. 1998 and Mrs. B. Two simple things. But at the same time, it is so much more than that. More than I can put into words, so you will just have to take me word for it. Even though it may not have seemed like it at the time, I have come to realize that getting glasses and then being swallowed into the 'Harry Potter' fandom, those two events in my life were probably the best things to ever happen to me.
Has anything changed your life that you will never forget? Do you have something in your life with an odd connection like mine?
Friday, June 7, 2013
Waiting on hold
What is is with automated messages and systems when trying to call a doctor's office, a university, customer service or other such places? I understand WHY they are there - there is not enough man power to answer the phones and even if there was, the chances that every single one of those people being able to answer just about any question that someone can ask is very small.
However, I have noticed that almost every time I call a company and have to go through one of the automated systems, I get put on hold (at some point during the call) for at LEAST 10 consecutive minutes. For example, right now, I am trying to get a hold of my university and was on hold for precisely 19 minutes and 36 seconds before I got to speak to an actual person.
Why is it that companies and businesses let this kind of thing happen? If you just need someone to answer the phone to lead to happier customers, patients, whoever, then why not hired 1 or 2 people JUST to answer the phones? I know that may seem like a lot of people when you consider how many companies should do that but hey, it might fix the unemployment problem, right? Especially in areas like Tampa, where a university alone would have to hire probably close to 100 people to fix just that problem. Just imagine! But I digress.
My phone call lasted exact 24 minutes. So, let's do the math, shall we? Out of 24 minutes, 19 and half were on hold, not even talking to someone. Probably 30 seconds of that was pushing buttons so that I could get to the right avenue. That means that for only 4 and a half minutes I was talking to someone. In what world is that okay?
Okay, so maybe I'm being a brat about it, but it's just very obnoxious and when this kind of situation happens after an incident where you are furious about a service or product, it can seriously get on your nerves! At least, it gets on mine. Like when the gas company was taking double payment and no one bothered to fix it until I called them up. And even then after that, I had to call back another time to make sure they were following up. I remember that day I was on hold for about 10 minutes and my nerves were very thin. Everything worked out with that and with today's call. But, is it really necessary? Are offices really that busy on a Friday afternoon? I'm pretty sure most people who work in an office, by the time 2:00 PM hits, they just mess around until they can clock out.
Anyone else have any fun stories to share about being put on hold?
However, I have noticed that almost every time I call a company and have to go through one of the automated systems, I get put on hold (at some point during the call) for at LEAST 10 consecutive minutes. For example, right now, I am trying to get a hold of my university and was on hold for precisely 19 minutes and 36 seconds before I got to speak to an actual person.
Why is it that companies and businesses let this kind of thing happen? If you just need someone to answer the phone to lead to happier customers, patients, whoever, then why not hired 1 or 2 people JUST to answer the phones? I know that may seem like a lot of people when you consider how many companies should do that but hey, it might fix the unemployment problem, right? Especially in areas like Tampa, where a university alone would have to hire probably close to 100 people to fix just that problem. Just imagine! But I digress.
My phone call lasted exact 24 minutes. So, let's do the math, shall we? Out of 24 minutes, 19 and half were on hold, not even talking to someone. Probably 30 seconds of that was pushing buttons so that I could get to the right avenue. That means that for only 4 and a half minutes I was talking to someone. In what world is that okay?
Okay, so maybe I'm being a brat about it, but it's just very obnoxious and when this kind of situation happens after an incident where you are furious about a service or product, it can seriously get on your nerves! At least, it gets on mine. Like when the gas company was taking double payment and no one bothered to fix it until I called them up. And even then after that, I had to call back another time to make sure they were following up. I remember that day I was on hold for about 10 minutes and my nerves were very thin. Everything worked out with that and with today's call. But, is it really necessary? Are offices really that busy on a Friday afternoon? I'm pretty sure most people who work in an office, by the time 2:00 PM hits, they just mess around until they can clock out.
Anyone else have any fun stories to share about being put on hold?
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Solo Theme Park Visits
I LOVE theme parks. I don't just like them, I LOVE them. If I could afford it, I would have annual passes to every single park in the state of Florida. Why? Well, because I live near-by and it would be easy to visit, but also because, like I said, I LOVE THEME PARKS!!!!
So, last summer, I got a Disney Annual Pass, along with the boyfriend. We went to all of the Disney Parks way too many times. We went enough times to pay for like, 4 or 5 Annual Passes. Those things are NOT cheap and neither is a single day visit. But it works out to be much cheaper when you get the Annual Pass. For example, right now, Disney ticket's cost $90 a day. When we got the Annual Passes, it was a little over $400 for the entire year. That means in 5 days of visiting the parks (we had access to all 4), we got our money's worth. But of course we went even more that those 5 days! In fact, by September we had already been at least 5 times. Plus the multiple days that we went with my Sister and her kids. So already, we got more than our money-worth. Not to mention the benefits of merchandise discounts, getting into parks early or staying late and of course getting to see the New Fantasyland before it was even open to the public and other special events. Definitely worth the $400.
But every time I have ever gone to a theme park, I always people watch, because it's fun and interesting. I would always notice the people who were by themselves, though. I used to feel sorry for them. I thought about how sad it must be, to be at the park, which-ever one we were at, the most magical place in the world, alone. I felt bad for those people, until finally, today. Today, I visited Animal Kingdom AND Hollywood Studios by myself, and can I just say.... I now feel bad for the people who are NOT alone!
When you have your kids, or nieces/nephews, cousins, parents, spouse, whoever, anyone with you, it is actually kind of a drag. Not that I don't love my family and friends and that you should not. However, when you are at a theme park with someone, you have to consider someone else's opinion on what rides to go on, which shows to see, how fast you are walking, how to avoid the crowds, keeping track of everyone, etc. But when you are by yourself, you are FREEEE!!!!! You can make your own schedule, it's easy to side-step the hundreds of strollers, you can go as fast (or slow if you're well, not me) as you want and you don't have to worry about decisions. They can be changed on a fly, all you have to do is well, do it.
There is a sad part about going to a theme park alone - you don't have anyone to share the magic and memories with, you don't have someone to take pictures with and you can't banter with someone about what is going on. Sure, you can talk to other random people who are at the park, but it is definitely beneficial to have someone with you. It is also just plain nice.
That being said, I'm not sure which I prefer. I love being by myself because it makes the visit easier and you can get places quicker. Especially if your companions are children. Unfortunately, children make every task more difficult and slower. But, it is really nice to create memories with your friends and family. Especially at Disney - seriously, how much more magical can they make that place? Apparently a LOT more, because after all, they are!
However, I will enjoy the last day of my Disney Annual Pass. Maybe more than any other day that I ever visited a Disney Theme Park. I think the day I got to go to Fantasyland before it opened was the best day ever because let's face it - Belle is my favourite princess and I not only got to be in the Enchanted Tales with her, but I also got to eat in the 'Be Our Guest' restaurant. I don't think anyone will ever be able to make a reservation there - it is always PACKED and every reservation is always taken. I've been trying since they allowed you to even START making reservations, which was 180 days (that's 5 MONTHS) before they even officially OPENED that part of the park! But I digress.
What I am most excited for is.....
MY EPIC DISNEY DAY!!!!
That's right, I said Epic and Disney in the same sentence. Pretty obviously usually, but I mean this is going to be a SUPER DUPER EPIC DISNEY DAY! Why, you may ask? Well, I will be going to not 1, not 2, not even 3 of the parks. I will be going to ALL FOUR WALT DISNEY WORLD PARKS IN A SINGLE DAY!
It sounds INSANE, I know! But I have always wanted to park hop, my pass is expiring and I will have 13 hours where my puppy is going to be taken care of in order to do it. Granted, 2 of those hours will be just driving to and from the Disney property. That means I will have approximately 2 1/2 hours in each park to do the things I want to do. While I have had a year to do every single thing in every single park, the absolutely CRAZIEST thing is, I actually HAVEN'T! But, that's the beauty of being a Disney fan. I will have to share my Epic Disney Day with you all when it happens. I will also be posting, once my Annual Pass has officially expired, a synopsis of my year at Disney. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It will be a long, albeit, enjoyable post.
Anyone else have any thoughts on solo theme park visits? Do you think I'm absolutely insane for going to all 4 parks in an 11 hours period? (I'm already predicting the answer is going to be yes.)
So, last summer, I got a Disney Annual Pass, along with the boyfriend. We went to all of the Disney Parks way too many times. We went enough times to pay for like, 4 or 5 Annual Passes. Those things are NOT cheap and neither is a single day visit. But it works out to be much cheaper when you get the Annual Pass. For example, right now, Disney ticket's cost $90 a day. When we got the Annual Passes, it was a little over $400 for the entire year. That means in 5 days of visiting the parks (we had access to all 4), we got our money's worth. But of course we went even more that those 5 days! In fact, by September we had already been at least 5 times. Plus the multiple days that we went with my Sister and her kids. So already, we got more than our money-worth. Not to mention the benefits of merchandise discounts, getting into parks early or staying late and of course getting to see the New Fantasyland before it was even open to the public and other special events. Definitely worth the $400.
But every time I have ever gone to a theme park, I always people watch, because it's fun and interesting. I would always notice the people who were by themselves, though. I used to feel sorry for them. I thought about how sad it must be, to be at the park, which-ever one we were at, the most magical place in the world, alone. I felt bad for those people, until finally, today. Today, I visited Animal Kingdom AND Hollywood Studios by myself, and can I just say.... I now feel bad for the people who are NOT alone!
When you have your kids, or nieces/nephews, cousins, parents, spouse, whoever, anyone with you, it is actually kind of a drag. Not that I don't love my family and friends and that you should not. However, when you are at a theme park with someone, you have to consider someone else's opinion on what rides to go on, which shows to see, how fast you are walking, how to avoid the crowds, keeping track of everyone, etc. But when you are by yourself, you are FREEEE!!!!! You can make your own schedule, it's easy to side-step the hundreds of strollers, you can go as fast (or slow if you're well, not me) as you want and you don't have to worry about decisions. They can be changed on a fly, all you have to do is well, do it.
There is a sad part about going to a theme park alone - you don't have anyone to share the magic and memories with, you don't have someone to take pictures with and you can't banter with someone about what is going on. Sure, you can talk to other random people who are at the park, but it is definitely beneficial to have someone with you. It is also just plain nice.
That being said, I'm not sure which I prefer. I love being by myself because it makes the visit easier and you can get places quicker. Especially if your companions are children. Unfortunately, children make every task more difficult and slower. But, it is really nice to create memories with your friends and family. Especially at Disney - seriously, how much more magical can they make that place? Apparently a LOT more, because after all, they are!
However, I will enjoy the last day of my Disney Annual Pass. Maybe more than any other day that I ever visited a Disney Theme Park. I think the day I got to go to Fantasyland before it opened was the best day ever because let's face it - Belle is my favourite princess and I not only got to be in the Enchanted Tales with her, but I also got to eat in the 'Be Our Guest' restaurant. I don't think anyone will ever be able to make a reservation there - it is always PACKED and every reservation is always taken. I've been trying since they allowed you to even START making reservations, which was 180 days (that's 5 MONTHS) before they even officially OPENED that part of the park! But I digress.
What I am most excited for is.....
MY EPIC DISNEY DAY!!!!
That's right, I said Epic and Disney in the same sentence. Pretty obviously usually, but I mean this is going to be a SUPER DUPER EPIC DISNEY DAY! Why, you may ask? Well, I will be going to not 1, not 2, not even 3 of the parks. I will be going to ALL FOUR WALT DISNEY WORLD PARKS IN A SINGLE DAY!
It sounds INSANE, I know! But I have always wanted to park hop, my pass is expiring and I will have 13 hours where my puppy is going to be taken care of in order to do it. Granted, 2 of those hours will be just driving to and from the Disney property. That means I will have approximately 2 1/2 hours in each park to do the things I want to do. While I have had a year to do every single thing in every single park, the absolutely CRAZIEST thing is, I actually HAVEN'T! But, that's the beauty of being a Disney fan. I will have to share my Epic Disney Day with you all when it happens. I will also be posting, once my Annual Pass has officially expired, a synopsis of my year at Disney. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It will be a long, albeit, enjoyable post.
Anyone else have any thoughts on solo theme park visits? Do you think I'm absolutely insane for going to all 4 parks in an 11 hours period? (I'm already predicting the answer is going to be yes.)
Friday, April 5, 2013
New Products from Garnier Fructis
It's time to spill a secret....
I am.... a
Okay, that wasn't that hard to admit but this next thing is....
I have dandruff and dry scalp! Yikes!
Okay, that wasn't that hard either. But that's not why I brought you here today. Today, I wanted to talk about two products that I got from BzzAgent recently that I love so much that I HAVE to write a blog post about it! And I've been getting all sorts of things so this is a special treat.
In two separate campaigns, I got the Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Miracle Dry Oil and the Garnier Fructis Hydra Recharge System. I LOVE Garnier Fructis products to begin with but I made sure to keep an open mind in case I *gasp* didn't like one of the prodcuts.
Well, I am here to tell you - I DO like both products!!!! In fact, I LOVE the Hydra Recharge System! In my BzzKits, I got full-size bottles of all of the products, which is perfect.
Normally, I can only wash my hair 2 or 3 times a week because it is very dry, brittle, thick and I get dandruff and dry scalp. It's bad and when I use bad products, even though I just got out of the shower, my head it already itchy. It stinks! But, I have been using both products for almost 4 weeks now and together, they are perfect!
I can wash my hair every other day with the Hydra Recharge Shampoo, Conditioner and 1-Minute Moisture-Plenish (which like I said, I got FULL SIZE of each!) and then after the shower, while my hair is still damp, I was using the Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Leave-In Conditioning Cream (which I bought on my own). The Conditioning Cream is helpful in keeping your hair curly and less frizzy, which I learned from another blogger. And boy does it! But my hair is the kind of hair that frizzes up like nobody's business and so not even that works on it's own. So, bringing in the Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Miracle Dry Oil instead of the Conditioning Cream was one solution, again while my hair was damp. Although after two days, my hair was starting to feel a little greasy. So, what I tried yesterday morning was the Hydra Recharge System with the Conditioning Cream while my hair was damp. As my hair started to dry out, I sprayed two times over my hair with the Dry Oil and well, here are the results! I took a few pictures yesterday and then the last one is from today. My hair feels sooooo soft and it's just PERFECT! I found my new curly hair-care regimen! You should definitely try these products out if you have curly or wavy or frizzy or dry hair!
If you would like to sign-up as a BzzAgent, let me know and I can hook you up! You get free stuff and discounts ALL the time! And it's FREE for you!
I am.... a
Okay, that wasn't that hard to admit but this next thing is....
I have dandruff and dry scalp! Yikes!
Okay, that wasn't that hard either. But that's not why I brought you here today. Today, I wanted to talk about two products that I got from BzzAgent recently that I love so much that I HAVE to write a blog post about it! And I've been getting all sorts of things so this is a special treat.
In two separate campaigns, I got the Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Miracle Dry Oil and the Garnier Fructis Hydra Recharge System. I LOVE Garnier Fructis products to begin with but I made sure to keep an open mind in case I *gasp* didn't like one of the prodcuts.
Here's what they look like all nice in ads:
Well, I am here to tell you - I DO like both products!!!! In fact, I LOVE the Hydra Recharge System! In my BzzKits, I got full-size bottles of all of the products, which is perfect.
Normally, I can only wash my hair 2 or 3 times a week because it is very dry, brittle, thick and I get dandruff and dry scalp. It's bad and when I use bad products, even though I just got out of the shower, my head it already itchy. It stinks! But, I have been using both products for almost 4 weeks now and together, they are perfect!
I can wash my hair every other day with the Hydra Recharge Shampoo, Conditioner and 1-Minute Moisture-Plenish (which like I said, I got FULL SIZE of each!) and then after the shower, while my hair is still damp, I was using the Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Leave-In Conditioning Cream (which I bought on my own). The Conditioning Cream is helpful in keeping your hair curly and less frizzy, which I learned from another blogger. And boy does it! But my hair is the kind of hair that frizzes up like nobody's business and so not even that works on it's own. So, bringing in the Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Miracle Dry Oil instead of the Conditioning Cream was one solution, again while my hair was damp. Although after two days, my hair was starting to feel a little greasy. So, what I tried yesterday morning was the Hydra Recharge System with the Conditioning Cream while my hair was damp. As my hair started to dry out, I sprayed two times over my hair with the Dry Oil and well, here are the results! I took a few pictures yesterday and then the last one is from today. My hair feels sooooo soft and it's just PERFECT! I found my new curly hair-care regimen! You should definitely try these products out if you have curly or wavy or frizzy or dry hair!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Movie Preview
Guess who just came back of a free movie preview? That's right, I did! I must saw, being able to see a film in advance is a very cool experience and it's not the first time I have gotten to. However, this preview is a little different from previous previews I have seen. For one, I really enjoyed the film and am going to be writing up a FULL critique. Another HUGE way this preview is different from previous ones is that the film that I saw does not get released to theatres for THREE MORE WEEKS. Now, while I am not technically legally bound to keep my mouth shut, I also want to keep getting to see previews for free as well as write up a good review and not spoil it for everyone. Also, I sadly do not get paid for critiques or well, anything much these days and so I am going to keep my opinions to myself for now. But, I will let y'all know when I post my review because it will be a good one and you will want to read it, although it will contain spoilers because well, they are too good to not tell you about.
Oh, and if you would like to know what film I saw, here's the movie poster....
Get alive! Or excited, whichever works for you. ;)
Oh, and if you would like to know what film I saw, here's the movie poster....
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Pinterest Dinners: The Food Part 1
I am going to preface all of these with the fact that I lost my 9 by 13 pan so I only have a 8 by 8 pan. I had two but one was silicone and we used a very sharp knife when cutting and well, we are trying to fix that up if possible before we use it to bake/cook anymore right now. So Dinners 1 & 2 were done using a 8 by 8 pan and a circular pan that is 9 inches in diameter. Sadly, these are the only three dinners we have gotten to make because of the holidays, finals, travel and my birthday. BUT, we have made the roll-ups twice already and I found a recipe to make them but with chicken and white sauce so I will upload that as well. Since the semester starts on Monday we will get back to this challenge and I will have more dinners for you!
Dinner 1: Caprese Lasagna Roll-Ups Recipe: http://cookingclassy.blogspot.com/2012/10/caprese-lasagna-roll-ups.html
We followed this almost 100%. Except we forgot to buy Ricotta Cheese. Oops. But, that little mistake worked well for us because both boyfriend and I do NOT like Ricotta in Lasagna. Both of us have weird texture issues when it comes to food. The only thing I would have changed is the tomatoes, just chop them up instead of slice them. I'll admit it - I stink at slicing anything thin unless I have a cutter that has those lines for me. But even besides that, it is REALLY hard to roll these up with slices. Also, the amount of sauce you need is probably closer to 16 oz. than 12, unless you put a super thin layer on the bottom. Another note is to have two greased cookie sheets ready to prepare the rolls otherwise you will run out of space and things may get messy. This is one of my favourite recipes ever - I loved it so much! If you reheat any portions (two people can only eat so much!), do it in two segments of two minutes each. Enjoy!
Dinner 2: Doritos Taco Bake Recipe: http://twomaidsamilking.blogspot.com/2011/04/hunk-of-meat-monday-taco-bake.html
So, I am suggesting a few changes to this after having made it. First off, if you use crescent rolls, make them ridiculously super thin and use the original ones. The only ones i had on hand were the sweet honey flaky ones - bad idea. We ended up flipping our portions upside down on our plates to pull the rolls off. They did not bake all the way through, either. Next time, we will be trying crushed tortilla chips on the bottom since we know we both would enjoy that. Once I do it, I will post my version of the recipe for y'all. Besides that, I accidentally forgot to mix in the taco seasoning while cooking the meat. Another oops. But it tastes fine without it. This recipe totally works in two pans, by the way and in fact if anything you can take it out sooner unless you like it to be more cooked, although there really isn't a difference because anything that needs to be cooked is cooked before the oven time. Note: The funnest part of making this dish is liking all the Doritos dust off of your hands at the end. It probably should not be my favourite part but it is. Enjoy!
Dinner 3: Chicken Parm Meatballs Recipe: http://www.dinneralovestory.com/chicken-parm-meatballs/
I am one lucky girl! The boyfriend made this dinner while I was at work one night! I love him - he's so fantastic. Anywhos, as far as ingredients, we were missing the fennel, we had used all the mozz with dinner 1 so we just used shredded parm. He also left out onion, I'm not sure why but he did. I asked boyfriend to give his comments and this is what he had to say: "Meat is squishy, less garlic and a more biter spice like basil or something (or more pepper). More cheese!!!!" The more cheese is his way of expressing his love for cheese. He loves cheese and lots of it, no matter what the entree is. We actually only had 1 pound of ground chicken so maybe that's why the garlic was too much for him. Personally, I would have said more but it does have plenty of garlic the way he made them so I'm happy. Maybe a little bit of a warning, the parsley makes it have a sweet little surprise in the taste so if that's not your thing, like boyfriend said, substitute it out for basil or maybe the addition of fennel seeds will help. This is yet another recipe that I absolutely LOVE! We somehow ended up with only 8 meatballs though, so maybe it was that extra 1/4 pound of meat but well, we were gluttonous and ate it all in one night so no reheating instructions for you this time. Enjoy!
Dinner 1: Caprese Lasagna Roll-Ups Recipe: http://cookingclassy.blogspot.com/2012/10/caprese-lasagna-roll-ups.html
We followed this almost 100%. Except we forgot to buy Ricotta Cheese. Oops. But, that little mistake worked well for us because both boyfriend and I do NOT like Ricotta in Lasagna. Both of us have weird texture issues when it comes to food. The only thing I would have changed is the tomatoes, just chop them up instead of slice them. I'll admit it - I stink at slicing anything thin unless I have a cutter that has those lines for me. But even besides that, it is REALLY hard to roll these up with slices. Also, the amount of sauce you need is probably closer to 16 oz. than 12, unless you put a super thin layer on the bottom. Another note is to have two greased cookie sheets ready to prepare the rolls otherwise you will run out of space and things may get messy. This is one of my favourite recipes ever - I loved it so much! If you reheat any portions (two people can only eat so much!), do it in two segments of two minutes each. Enjoy!
Dinner 2: Doritos Taco Bake Recipe: http://twomaidsamilking.blogspot.com/2011/04/hunk-of-meat-monday-taco-bake.html
So, I am suggesting a few changes to this after having made it. First off, if you use crescent rolls, make them ridiculously super thin and use the original ones. The only ones i had on hand were the sweet honey flaky ones - bad idea. We ended up flipping our portions upside down on our plates to pull the rolls off. They did not bake all the way through, either. Next time, we will be trying crushed tortilla chips on the bottom since we know we both would enjoy that. Once I do it, I will post my version of the recipe for y'all. Besides that, I accidentally forgot to mix in the taco seasoning while cooking the meat. Another oops. But it tastes fine without it. This recipe totally works in two pans, by the way and in fact if anything you can take it out sooner unless you like it to be more cooked, although there really isn't a difference because anything that needs to be cooked is cooked before the oven time. Note: The funnest part of making this dish is liking all the Doritos dust off of your hands at the end. It probably should not be my favourite part but it is. Enjoy!
Dinner 3: Chicken Parm Meatballs Recipe: http://www.dinneralovestory.com/chicken-parm-meatballs/
I am one lucky girl! The boyfriend made this dinner while I was at work one night! I love him - he's so fantastic. Anywhos, as far as ingredients, we were missing the fennel, we had used all the mozz with dinner 1 so we just used shredded parm. He also left out onion, I'm not sure why but he did. I asked boyfriend to give his comments and this is what he had to say: "Meat is squishy, less garlic and a more biter spice like basil or something (or more pepper). More cheese!!!!" The more cheese is his way of expressing his love for cheese. He loves cheese and lots of it, no matter what the entree is. We actually only had 1 pound of ground chicken so maybe that's why the garlic was too much for him. Personally, I would have said more but it does have plenty of garlic the way he made them so I'm happy. Maybe a little bit of a warning, the parsley makes it have a sweet little surprise in the taste so if that's not your thing, like boyfriend said, substitute it out for basil or maybe the addition of fennel seeds will help. This is yet another recipe that I absolutely LOVE! We somehow ended up with only 8 meatballs though, so maybe it was that extra 1/4 pound of meat but well, we were gluttonous and ate it all in one night so no reheating instructions for you this time. Enjoy!
Thoughts on College and My Future Career
Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm sane - either way, I think I just changed my mind again about what exactly I want to do once I graduate from college. One thing is for certain, though - I HAVE finally secured that I will graduate at the end of this new semester with my Art History Degree. At the point that I will graduate, I will have been enrolled in college for 4 1/2 years, but it will have been 5 years since I graduated high school. Most people I know now don't actually know what happened once I graduated from high school - that's because most of them I did not even meet until after I had graduated or even a year later. It's not a problem, just that there is a huge thing that has caused me to take so long to get a single degree.
Right after I graduated high school, I had a job. Not even a month after graduating, I had a full time job working with people that I went to high school at a computer company. We worked for the school board imaging computers so they could be "school appropriate". You know all those proxies and firewalls and blocks and very specific programs and applications on every single computer in the school? Well, that's what I did - we would hook up the computers with external drives and literally put an image of what the computer could/should be allowed to do and have on each computer. By August, I had made a few thousand dollars, had worked all over the county, worked in two other counties and got my first car. (Which I am still paying for, but I couldn't love another car more than mine and I'm already well over 80,000 miles.) As the new school year got started, I saw no reason to give up my job and so I asked for an extension for my admission to Drexel University in Philadelphia, the only college I had bothered to apply to. They granted me a year extension - I wanted to keep working also because $50,0000 a year for my degree was so not cool and needed to be funded because I was not getting a bunch of scholarships like my friends were.
Unfortunately, the recession was starting to hit really hard and we started to get less and less contracts with the school boards in the companies' repertoire. I decided it was time to quit, I did not want to be let go and I still had a whole 6-7 months in which I had to find something to do before I moved to Philly. Well, I enrolled in my local community college and took on a full course load and found a part-time job at a lawyers office. Needless to say, that was the WEIRDEST job experience I have ever had, but it was also very awesome because I got to learn about law. Well, because I took some courses, I had to reapply to Drexel and got reaccepted but by the end of the summer semester and I left the law office because of medical problems, I decided that I would just finish out and get my associates degree because that would make transferring so much easier. Or so I thought. I then spent another 2 whole years in community college, not always with a job before I finally said enough, they clearly don't want to help me graduate and I moved to Tampa.
I am very glad that it will have only taken 2 years at the university I am at now because seriously - it gets aggravating when you are told oh, you only have a few more classes or one more class or that you are almost done but when you go do a check-up a little later, just kidding, not at all.
Having spent 4 1/2 years now on getting a single degree, not having it until 5 years after having graduating from high school is a blow to ego even if it's not that big of a deal and I am half-way to a second degree as well. Besides that though, having spent so much time working towards school, when I think that I will still need to do another year for a second degree is daunting. I would LOVE to have a degree in Art History and Anthropology - I would love to be an archaeologist and museum curator - but the thought of having the spend 5 1/2 years in undergraduate schooling, and then anywhere from 1 1/2 to 7 more years getting the other degrees I want so that I can get the positions that I want makes me want to not even bother. The problem is that in order to be a museum curator, one has to have at least a Masters of Fine Arts degree. AT LEAST! Well, that is just a little messed up, don't you think? Even if I had done the 4 years for my undergraduate degree and then the minimum of 1 1/2 years for graduate degree - that's a lot of money, student debt and school. I would have to pick the degrees and career that take a minimum of 6 1/2 years and a maximum of 12 years (or more!).
Having realized how long it will take me to get my degrees and knowing that I will not like how daunting it is, it makes me wonder if it's what I really want to do, because it's just so.... UGH! It makes me want to scream. Maybe it is what I want to do and I'm just stressing out about the fact that I don't want to put off starting my life and a family just because of school. I do know that I want to do one amazing, fun thing; Study Abroad in Italy. I really don't care how I do it or if it's for college credit but the chance of spending months in Italy studying the influence of Greek and Roman art on Renaissance Art. That is what I want to do with my life, but how to make a career out of that is another thing and may not be possible.
Anyone else out there have something you are worried about when it comes to your higher education or career?
Right after I graduated high school, I had a job. Not even a month after graduating, I had a full time job working with people that I went to high school at a computer company. We worked for the school board imaging computers so they could be "school appropriate". You know all those proxies and firewalls and blocks and very specific programs and applications on every single computer in the school? Well, that's what I did - we would hook up the computers with external drives and literally put an image of what the computer could/should be allowed to do and have on each computer. By August, I had made a few thousand dollars, had worked all over the county, worked in two other counties and got my first car. (Which I am still paying for, but I couldn't love another car more than mine and I'm already well over 80,000 miles.) As the new school year got started, I saw no reason to give up my job and so I asked for an extension for my admission to Drexel University in Philadelphia, the only college I had bothered to apply to. They granted me a year extension - I wanted to keep working also because $50,0000 a year for my degree was so not cool and needed to be funded because I was not getting a bunch of scholarships like my friends were.
Unfortunately, the recession was starting to hit really hard and we started to get less and less contracts with the school boards in the companies' repertoire. I decided it was time to quit, I did not want to be let go and I still had a whole 6-7 months in which I had to find something to do before I moved to Philly. Well, I enrolled in my local community college and took on a full course load and found a part-time job at a lawyers office. Needless to say, that was the WEIRDEST job experience I have ever had, but it was also very awesome because I got to learn about law. Well, because I took some courses, I had to reapply to Drexel and got reaccepted but by the end of the summer semester and I left the law office because of medical problems, I decided that I would just finish out and get my associates degree because that would make transferring so much easier. Or so I thought. I then spent another 2 whole years in community college, not always with a job before I finally said enough, they clearly don't want to help me graduate and I moved to Tampa.
I am very glad that it will have only taken 2 years at the university I am at now because seriously - it gets aggravating when you are told oh, you only have a few more classes or one more class or that you are almost done but when you go do a check-up a little later, just kidding, not at all.
Having spent 4 1/2 years now on getting a single degree, not having it until 5 years after having graduating from high school is a blow to ego even if it's not that big of a deal and I am half-way to a second degree as well. Besides that though, having spent so much time working towards school, when I think that I will still need to do another year for a second degree is daunting. I would LOVE to have a degree in Art History and Anthropology - I would love to be an archaeologist and museum curator - but the thought of having the spend 5 1/2 years in undergraduate schooling, and then anywhere from 1 1/2 to 7 more years getting the other degrees I want so that I can get the positions that I want makes me want to not even bother. The problem is that in order to be a museum curator, one has to have at least a Masters of Fine Arts degree. AT LEAST! Well, that is just a little messed up, don't you think? Even if I had done the 4 years for my undergraduate degree and then the minimum of 1 1/2 years for graduate degree - that's a lot of money, student debt and school. I would have to pick the degrees and career that take a minimum of 6 1/2 years and a maximum of 12 years (or more!).
Having realized how long it will take me to get my degrees and knowing that I will not like how daunting it is, it makes me wonder if it's what I really want to do, because it's just so.... UGH! It makes me want to scream. Maybe it is what I want to do and I'm just stressing out about the fact that I don't want to put off starting my life and a family just because of school. I do know that I want to do one amazing, fun thing; Study Abroad in Italy. I really don't care how I do it or if it's for college credit but the chance of spending months in Italy studying the influence of Greek and Roman art on Renaissance Art. That is what I want to do with my life, but how to make a career out of that is another thing and may not be possible.
Anyone else out there have something you are worried about when it comes to your higher education or career?
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Pinterest Dinners: The Preface
Well, it's true. I have become obsessed with Pinterest! I have more boards then I care to even tell you about. Although if you want to follow my boards or pins, just go to http://pinterest.com/xozer0! If you DON'T have Pinterest like my mom (LE GASP!) first off, shame on you, secondly, let me know and I'll send you an invite!
Probably my largest board is simply labeled FOOD. It used to include any kind of foods or drinks. I've started to categorize my food pins by cupcake, drinks, and soon I'll be adding appetizers, entrees, I am way too OCD to just have it all in one, but I'm also lazy. Go figure.
So anywhosers, I have Pinterest and in my food board, I have a BUNCH of dinner food option pins. Some of them are amazing, some are ones I would not even attempt to make unless my mom (I LOVE YOU MOMMY!) was to help me, some I looked at my boyfriend and was like, we need to make these NOW! So, before Thanksgiving I went through a picked a bunch, made up a shopping list and sent him to the store while I worked on my papers and projects. So this week and next week we are having what I like to call Pinterest Dinners. Everything I am making, surprisingly enough, has veggies meat and all the making of dinner in a single dish. It makes me happy. Instead of posting recipes and a million photos of my own creations, my lazy side is going to come out and at the end of the two weeks, I will be posting all of the dishes, links and my reviews/comments so that if you want to make any, you know what I did different from the original posters and if you want/need to make any adjustments.
I look forward to sharing because I love to cook and bake and am trying to do more of it now that I'm growing up and I have my own place and stuff like that. Hope everyone's Thanksgiving weekend was awesome! Keep a look out for my future Pinterest Dinner post!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Egyptian Pyramids Project
Well, my first project of the semester is DONE! As in, it was due and so it must be done because that's just how I roll. It's a little sad considering that I'm not dumb nor really all that lazy - I do all of the work and have it all in my head, I just fail to complete a project until the night before or the day that it is due. It's a bad habit but I can't seem to break it. I have at least gotten better in the regard that well, I don't do everything including checking out books until a few days before, I have actually been working on this project since I picked out my topic like two months ago.
Anywhos, I just wanted to share because I am proud of it, even if it does seem a little disjointed, if it were an actual paper. To explain the project - it's pretty much a paper in website format.
So, here it is!
http://http://victoriaanne.myweb.usf.edu/
Please let me know what you think!
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