Just a warning: Some of this may be gross if you don't like talk of what other peoples bodies do in the bathroom. I don't go into detail but I do mention it in passing. If you don't like then I suggest you skip the first couple of sentences.
It all started at 10:30 PM. On the night of the 13th. (If you read my previous post, my boyfriend and I are back at his parents house until we move into our apartment this Thursday.) I had eaten a variety of junk food through the day including dairy products. I am lactose intolerant. Because of my intolerance of lactose, I started to have some stomach cramps and related bathroom things. I was also extremely nauseous. Unfortunately that part is not too new to me since I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome - or as I like to call it, Irrational Bull Shit). This continued for an hour and half at which point my stomach settled down just enough that I said F*** it I need to go to a clinic or something. Since I've been staying with my boyfriend and he was playing Rock Band with brother and friends and their song was over, he followed me and asked what was wrong. I explained and he said he would drive me since my car was blocked in and I needed to find a doctor NOW!
Mind you, this happened on a Saturday night. It's now a few minutes after Midnight so really, it's Sunday morning. Regardless, where I used to live there were clinics open all night so I safely (wrongly) assume that there are clinics everywhere open 24/7. This is where the adventure really began. We find one a few minutes away and go. It's CLOSED. We look on his iPhone for others. There's one about 10-15 minutes away. We try to find it. IT DOES NOT EXIST! So we keep driving since on the map it shows many more in the direction we are driving. We're bound to find one, right? Sort of. Finally I spot a hospital on the map. I realize this is my only chance once we passed a clinic that closed at Midnight and it was about 12:20 when we got to it. I was as pissed as one could be while trying to make sure I didn't vomit or poop or have anything come out of any bodily orifice.
We get to hospital and I sign in. I have to do a urine sample. I am finally starting to feel a little better and while I am still being checked-in, a pregnant lady comes in and she's bleeding. Then her water breaks. I am still glad I was not her, but I wish her the best anyways and hope everything is alright with her and her baby. Anyways - back to the story. So, I get checked in at 12:30. Finally at 1:30 AM I get to go get a bed. My stomach feels almost normal at this point but I still want to know what's going on. My boyfriend and I try to get some sleep since we had been awake all day cleaning the house and having fun. I can't sleep because my stomach is starting to hurt again. The nurse (named Ziggy - best fucking name for a nurse!) man (Yes, he was a man.) asks me what's wrong and if I have any medicine allergies. I inform him of them. (Note this is time 2 I've been asked, the first time being when they gave me the nifty BRIGHT RED BRACELET that they wrote my allergies on!) Then he goes away. This took a minute. Finally around 2:45 AM the doctor comes to see me. She looks like she belongs in an ambulance due to her outfit and she a girl following her around taking notes. She asks me if I have any medicine allergies (Time 3!) and what hurts, how does it hurt, blahblahblah. She tells me they will order some tests and x-rays. I say okay, happy they are finally doing something since I've been at the ER for over two hours now.
Another 20 minutes pass, with me anxiously thinking anybody who gets near my curtain is there to take my blood. I am more excited about finding out what's wrong, rather than being poked in the arm. During that time I had heard a male nurse with the lady next to me, trying to draw her blood. He blew 3 of her veins before another male doctor had to be called to do it. I silently pray that does not happen to me. It didn't. Sort of. Finally Ziggy comes back and pokes my arm with the needle set-up thingy to take my blood. It's not coming out. He tries with another tubey-thing. Nope, he realises he blew my vein. In my mind I'm all 'Oh that's okay! When I donate blood, they usually take form my left since that vein is nicer.' I inform him of such and he jokes with me "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place? LOL!" (He didn't actually say lol, but he did chuckle to himself like he was super funny.) He tries in that arm. HE BLOWS THE VEIN! THE BIG ONE THAT IS LIKE A DIME SIZED BLUE BLOB ON MY ARM! Actually, he didn't even get into it. He just went right into muscle. I am becoming highly concerned for my own health. Thankfully he gets another nurse to come do it. In the mean time, the wound in my left arm starts to leak blood. I tell my body it needs to start cooperating. My boyfriend is there the whole time and takes my hand at this point since he understands how worried I am.
Ziggy and a lady nurse come in. It's the same nurse that checked me in. She was nice. She gets the needle in and all nicely in my right arm. (I know that sentence doesn't make much sense but I don't care right now!) It's going fine until she takes the holder thing off to put the tubey adapter thing on. My arm just starts to BLEED! On my gown, on the sheets, bed, dripping down my arm. But she quickly gets the adapter on and tubey things in to take my blood and she stops the bleeding and cleans most of it up.
I'm told to relax and I will get my x-rays soon. That was around like, 3:15/3:20 AM. An hour later (I sensed this hour trend awhile ago but it was still irritating.) a guy comes and rolls me away to get my x-rays. They take you in your bed now because it's faster and no one passes out on you. I am feeling dehydrated since they only put the IV in but did not put a drip in. ('Okay......?' I thought.) I am laying in my bed, my boyfriend kisses me and tells me I look beautiful. I tell him he's crazy and he kisses me to shut me up. Then we hear a lady get angrier.
Angry Lady: "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS LADY HAS BEEN HERE FOR FOUR HOURS AND SHE IS JUST GETTING HER X-RAYS?!"
Me (To my boyfriend): Well, she's mad.
Boyfriend (To me): Shhhh!!!! (He has this thing where he thinks every time I say something, people will hear me, even if I'm whispering super quiet.)
The guy comes out, tells my boyfriend to wait in the waiting room area and takes me in. X-Rays are taken and I am taken back to my 'room'. All it is, is a curtained area. It's dumb. Anyways - Ziggy comes and brings me water on the request of my Boyfriend after I asked him to get me some when he went. But I wasn't allowed to get out of bed. So, I drink my water, out of a straw, like a child. Then my boyfriend and I try to get some sleep since we are informed that I will not be getting results for at least 45 minutes.
Just after 5:20 AM a lady comes asking me how I'm going to pay. My boyfriend and I have a conversation including my saying 'Oh shit! I'm broke!' and other similar things and not wanting to call my parents and wake them to ask what to do. She comes back and we tell her that when I leave I'll pay. Somehow. We go back to sleep though, and an hour later (Again with the hour thing.) my doctor comes back with her shadow person to tell me that I have an Urinary Tract Infection and it's actually kind of bad because if I hadn't come in that day, it could have spread through my body to a staph infection, so it's good they caught it 'In time.' She then proceeds to ask me (2nd time for her, 4th time that night/morning) if I'm allergic to any medications. This the conversation after that.
ER doctor lady: Okay. Have you ever had this, this and this medicine.
Me: Uhm.... I don't think so.
ER doctor lady: Okay. Have you ever had this, this and this medicine.
Me: Uhm.... I don't think so. (My boyfriend gives me a look like 'Really?!')
ER doctor lady: What about this? Or that?
Me: Uhm... probably not. I know I've had morphine.
ER doctor lady: Well, that's a shot and we can't give you that.
Me: ....okay.
My boyfriend (Whispering to me.): You don't know what you've had? (I ignored him for the time being.)
ER doctor lady: What about this? (One of the first things she asked.) It's this with this in it.
Me: I don't think so. But isn't that related to what I'm allergic to?
ER doctor lady: Well yeah, they are cousins but it's fine.
Me: Oh. *looks at boyfriend* Uhm, well, okay.
She writes up the scripts and finally around 6:30 I get to go home. I am paying for my bill. My boyfriend has to put it on his card since I forgot that I have a debit card thing from my insurance company that PAYS FOR ALL MEDICAL EXPENSES! (I felt dumb the next day when I went back and changed the payment.) We go to Walgreens to get all my pills (3 different kinds). Luckily it's 24 hours and RIGHT next to the hospital! Like literally, only a wall between them. We get in the car and head back home. I read the instructions of them all and get to the one that I was questioning earlier whether I could safely take it due to my allergy. There is an explicit warning, in bold and all caps 'DO NOT TAKE THIS MEDICATION IF YOU HAVE HAD A SEVERE ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE FOLLOWING MEDICATIONS:' and then lists some related meds. The SECOND ONE on the list is the one I am allergic to! I read this to my boyfriend and even shove the paper in his face (Even though he's driving and probably didn't care at the time.) He rolls his eyes and tells me I shouldn't take them. I give him the ' Do you think I'm dumb?!' look and probably even said it. I don't remember. We finally get back to the house, I've already taken my first dose of meds and it's just past 7 AM now.
We went to bed and in the morning I called the hospital to complain about the doctor being incompetent and trying to kill me. I also let them know that I could totally sue them but tell them I won't. But I warned them. When I went in to get the payment straightened out I also got cards so that I can formally complain.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Mental Breakdowns, Chocolate and Licking. (Not necessarily in that order.)
Note: This was written day of but as I said in my previous post, I had been debating whether or not to make the blog or not. Continue reading.
I just had a slight meltdown. But let me start before today even happened to give some background - my boyfriend and I (to whom I will refer to as Afroman, despite him lacking his afro currently.) are staying at his Godfather's house for the week. Why, you might ask? Well, he has to work and I'm essentially homeless. Work is in Tampa, where we normally live. But since school hasn't started and neither has our apartment lease, we have been staying at his parents in Orlando, but obviously, that doesn't quite work out. This morning, we woke up at like, 9 which is extremely early for us. We had breakfast/lunch which was out Olive Garden leftovers from last night. Then we spent the day at Busch Gardens - him working, me dilly-daddling. Since it's summer, they have the special 'Summer Nights' program ending each day with this awesome show called Kinetix. If you haven't heard of it go (here). It's spiffy. Anyways - on the way back to his godfather's place, we stopped at Circle K and got a large soda. 68 cents for a (oz) soda ain't bad. We also stopped and got Reese's Cups. I only ate one, but drank half the soda. Obviously you wouldn't know since you probably don't know me in person but, I also have ADHD. This makes things interesting when sugar and caffeine are injected into my system. Such is the story of tonight.
We were sitting on the bed, reading Hyperbole and a Half and I decide it's bed time. Afroman asks if my sugar crash is happening. I mumble yes and throw my computer on the ground (okay well, not throw but it's a high-up bed so I feel like I am, even though it's landing on a pile of clothes) and try to sleep. This is a mistake. I decide it's a FANTASTIC TIME to starting lickingafroman's back (Okay never mind, that sounds like I'm a super-hero whore.) my boyfriend's back. So I do. Then I pop a couple of pimples he has there (No, I didn't lick those.) and then I slip behind his computer and start peeking out from the sides and top. This is when he counter-attacks and starts to poke me in the forehead. Mind you, I started to giggle uncontrollably shortly after I starting this strange licking. Finally, I decide it's a great idea to sneak around the bed and surprise him. I slip off and go around my side then the foot of the bed. He already knows what I'm doing but I'm pretending he's clueless. Suddenly, he's quiet. I look up and there he is, looking at him. Our conversation at this point is something like this:
Me: Dang it! *giggles*
Boyfriend: *stares*
Me: *Falls down, giggling*
Boyfriend: *Ignores me, goes back to reading awesome blog*
Me: *falls over further, giggle uncontrollably, so much that I begin to hyperventilate*
Boyfriend: I'll pretend I didn't see you and you can scare me again.
Me: Mmkay. *giggles start up again*
So, I finally finish my crawl around the bed and jump up, making some weird animal noise. My boyfriend pretends to act surprised. He goes back to reading, I go crawl back to the foot of the bed and jump up again with a different but still stupid animal noise. He throws his arms up and makes a noise as well. This completely derails my giddiness for a couple of seconds as I am sad he has ruined my fun. But then he apologises and I go back to giggling. I looked at the wood work on the foot of the bed and realize it looks like a bunch of gavels lined up. Then I decide more licking is in order. My boyfriend is watching me and I lick the gavel-like wood. He is confused. Then I realize how BAD it tastes and grab the little bit of sparkling water that's left on the dresser and down it. Wood-lacquer taste is still in my mouth. I wipe tongue with hand then shirt. It's gone. Then I lick my boyfriends hand. At this point, the story just consists of me licking things for a minute or so, so I'll just list the items; gavel-like wood, my boyfriend's hand, the sheets, his neck, his computer, the sheets again, his arm, his birthmark on his arm (it's not a hairy mole or anything, just discoloured skin - I also discover this bit of skin seems to taste sweeter, but it's probably just my delusional mind having fun with me), his arm again, then I suck on his arm, and then I lick his forearm, which is hairy and gross. (Mind you I had climbed back onto the bed after I licked his hand the first time.) This the point where I am giggling hard because licking is funny and he's wondering what the hell is wrong with me and I fall off the bed. I did try to catch myself and he did try to help me not fall, but I'm giggling, his arms and hand are slimy and icky from my saliva so, I fall off the bed.
This causes me to laugh HARDER! So hard, that I start making crying-sounds. After about a minute, I start to ACTUALLY CRY. Why this is happening, neither of us know but now my boyfriend is quite alarmed and crawls down to me. I start to choke on my laughing/tears and he sits me up and holds me for a minute while I collect myself. I apologize for being insane and distracting him and he says it's fine, as long as I'm okay. I apologise again because I am a compulsive apologiser and remind him that I really should not have sugar and caffeine this late and when I'm tired. We climb back up onto the bed and I write this out for you, whoever you are if you are even reading this, and he is now playing League of Legends with his brother and friends because my boyfriend is a super nerd that I love.
I also love that he puts up with my insanity. This is NOT the first time I've giggled/laughed uncontrollably after sugar/caffeine.
EDIT: It is now morning. More things happened after that last night. I shall continue the story....
I lay down, get ready for bed, then I turn over and tell my boyfriend that I WANT CHOCOLATE! He denies me, stating I will just get hyper again. I deny his statement and threaten to start licking things again. Finally, we agree that I can have pudding. It's Chocolate, but it's also vanilla, so it can't be that bad, right?
He feeds it to me, since I'm only allowed half, then we trek back upstairs. My going up and down the stairs was ridiculous though. Going down, I scooted down each step. Going up, I was on all fours. I realize now that I must have looked super stupid. Anyways, we get back up stairs and lay down. Then I start to giggle again. And poking and tickling him. I become annoying quickly with my weird antics and (As it seems I have been this whole time.) extremely obnoxious. I get 'mad' at him and start to lick things again., despite my agreement not to if I got my pudding. That's when HE tells me I'm being obnoxious and so I get mad and fall onto the floor and crawl over to the door, saying I will just sleep on the floor since he doesn't want me up there. I just lay there and play with the glow necklace sticks that are on the floor and doorknob (We have NO idea why they are there!) and in this, I heard a weird noise and freak out and beg him to turn the lights on. He does and I discover that it's the door stopper that made the sound since it's spring. I play with it for a little bit then put my head down.
After about 5 minutes, he comes to check on me and my sugar high is FINALLY gone! He tells me I should sleep on the bed, not the floor and I just state that I really have to pee. So he helps me up and walks me to the bathroom. I go in, do my stuff then return to the bedroom and run and flop on the bed. He is exasperated at this point, but knows that if he massages my back and neck, I will pass out. So he does. I pass out.
But now this morning, it's almost 11, he is out running an errand and he does not seem too keen on me and my antics last night. I've apologised about 20 times this morning so I hope that he is not uber upset with me. I would really hate it if he was. :/
Edit: He was not, he was just glad that I was unharmed, minus a mysterious bruise on my leg that we decided was from when I fell off the bed.
I just had a slight meltdown. But let me start before today even happened to give some background - my boyfriend and I (to whom I will refer to as Afroman, despite him lacking his afro currently.) are staying at his Godfather's house for the week. Why, you might ask? Well, he has to work and I'm essentially homeless. Work is in Tampa, where we normally live. But since school hasn't started and neither has our apartment lease, we have been staying at his parents in Orlando, but obviously, that doesn't quite work out. This morning, we woke up at like, 9 which is extremely early for us. We had breakfast/lunch which was out Olive Garden leftovers from last night. Then we spent the day at Busch Gardens - him working, me dilly-daddling. Since it's summer, they have the special 'Summer Nights' program ending each day with this awesome show called Kinetix. If you haven't heard of it go (here). It's spiffy. Anyways - on the way back to his godfather's place, we stopped at Circle K and got a large soda. 68 cents for a (oz) soda ain't bad. We also stopped and got Reese's Cups. I only ate one, but drank half the soda. Obviously you wouldn't know since you probably don't know me in person but, I also have ADHD. This makes things interesting when sugar and caffeine are injected into my system. Such is the story of tonight.
We were sitting on the bed, reading Hyperbole and a Half and I decide it's bed time. Afroman asks if my sugar crash is happening. I mumble yes and throw my computer on the ground (okay well, not throw but it's a high-up bed so I feel like I am, even though it's landing on a pile of clothes) and try to sleep. This is a mistake. I decide it's a FANTASTIC TIME to starting licking
Me: Dang it! *giggles*
Boyfriend: *stares*
Me: *Falls down, giggling*
Boyfriend: *Ignores me, goes back to reading awesome blog*
Me: *falls over further, giggle uncontrollably, so much that I begin to hyperventilate*
Boyfriend: I'll pretend I didn't see you and you can scare me again.
Me: Mmkay. *giggles start up again*
So, I finally finish my crawl around the bed and jump up, making some weird animal noise. My boyfriend pretends to act surprised. He goes back to reading, I go crawl back to the foot of the bed and jump up again with a different but still stupid animal noise. He throws his arms up and makes a noise as well. This completely derails my giddiness for a couple of seconds as I am sad he has ruined my fun. But then he apologises and I go back to giggling. I looked at the wood work on the foot of the bed and realize it looks like a bunch of gavels lined up. Then I decide more licking is in order. My boyfriend is watching me and I lick the gavel-like wood. He is confused. Then I realize how BAD it tastes and grab the little bit of sparkling water that's left on the dresser and down it. Wood-lacquer taste is still in my mouth. I wipe tongue with hand then shirt. It's gone. Then I lick my boyfriends hand. At this point, the story just consists of me licking things for a minute or so, so I'll just list the items; gavel-like wood, my boyfriend's hand, the sheets, his neck, his computer, the sheets again, his arm, his birthmark on his arm (it's not a hairy mole or anything, just discoloured skin - I also discover this bit of skin seems to taste sweeter, but it's probably just my delusional mind having fun with me), his arm again, then I suck on his arm, and then I lick his forearm, which is hairy and gross. (Mind you I had climbed back onto the bed after I licked his hand the first time.) This the point where I am giggling hard because licking is funny and he's wondering what the hell is wrong with me and I fall off the bed. I did try to catch myself and he did try to help me not fall, but I'm giggling, his arms and hand are slimy and icky from my saliva so, I fall off the bed.
This causes me to laugh HARDER! So hard, that I start making crying-sounds. After about a minute, I start to ACTUALLY CRY. Why this is happening, neither of us know but now my boyfriend is quite alarmed and crawls down to me. I start to choke on my laughing/tears and he sits me up and holds me for a minute while I collect myself. I apologize for being insane and distracting him and he says it's fine, as long as I'm okay. I apologise again because I am a compulsive apologiser and remind him that I really should not have sugar and caffeine this late and when I'm tired. We climb back up onto the bed and I write this out for you, whoever you are if you are even reading this, and he is now playing League of Legends with his brother and friends because my boyfriend is a super nerd that I love.
I also love that he puts up with my insanity. This is NOT the first time I've giggled/laughed uncontrollably after sugar/caffeine.
EDIT: It is now morning. More things happened after that last night. I shall continue the story....
I lay down, get ready for bed, then I turn over and tell my boyfriend that I WANT CHOCOLATE! He denies me, stating I will just get hyper again. I deny his statement and threaten to start licking things again. Finally, we agree that I can have pudding. It's Chocolate, but it's also vanilla, so it can't be that bad, right?
He feeds it to me, since I'm only allowed half, then we trek back upstairs. My going up and down the stairs was ridiculous though. Going down, I scooted down each step. Going up, I was on all fours. I realize now that I must have looked super stupid. Anyways, we get back up stairs and lay down. Then I start to giggle again. And poking and tickling him. I become annoying quickly with my weird antics and (As it seems I have been this whole time.) extremely obnoxious. I get 'mad' at him and start to lick things again., despite my agreement not to if I got my pudding. That's when HE tells me I'm being obnoxious and so I get mad and fall onto the floor and crawl over to the door, saying I will just sleep on the floor since he doesn't want me up there. I just lay there and play with the glow necklace sticks that are on the floor and doorknob (We have NO idea why they are there!) and in this, I heard a weird noise and freak out and beg him to turn the lights on. He does and I discover that it's the door stopper that made the sound since it's spring. I play with it for a little bit then put my head down.
After about 5 minutes, he comes to check on me and my sugar high is FINALLY gone! He tells me I should sleep on the bed, not the floor and I just state that I really have to pee. So he helps me up and walks me to the bathroom. I go in, do my stuff then return to the bedroom and run and flop on the bed. He is exasperated at this point, but knows that if he massages my back and neck, I will pass out. So he does. I pass out.
But now this morning, it's almost 11, he is out running an errand and he does not seem too keen on me and my antics last night. I've apologised about 20 times this morning so I hope that he is not uber upset with me. I would really hate it if he was. :/
Edit: He was not, he was just glad that I was unharmed, minus a mysterious bruise on my leg that we decided was from when I fell off the bed.
The start of it all
I am starting a new chapter in my life. I will be starting my Junior year at a new college (Having spent almost 3 years at a Community College, while still living with my parents previously.) and have debated about starting a blog on it or not. I have decided to since at this point, a couple of crazy things have happened so far and I have a feeling it will get even crazier as the year (By year, I mean school year.) goes on. I already have typed out two stories from things that have happened so I'll be posting them both tonight. I am also going to sound conceited for a moment here, as if I actually have readers: I hope it doesn't spoil you guys. I don't know how often I'll be able to post 3 stories in a single night ever again. Maybe through the span of the day if it's a very eventful day.
But anyways - this blog is going to be about my adventures. I have been reading Hyperbole and a Half a lot recently since I discovered it and will probably reference it a LOT. If you don't like references, then just go read the blog. It's amazing!
But okay, that's about it. Hope you enjoy my stories. They are not and will never be made up. Unless someone asks me to write a story about something fictional and then I might post it here or something. I don't know. Whatever. Just read my blog and be nice in your comments! Thanks!
But anyways - this blog is going to be about my adventures. I have been reading Hyperbole and a Half a lot recently since I discovered it and will probably reference it a LOT. If you don't like references, then just go read the blog. It's amazing!
But okay, that's about it. Hope you enjoy my stories. They are not and will never be made up. Unless someone asks me to write a story about something fictional and then I might post it here or something. I don't know. Whatever. Just read my blog and be nice in your comments! Thanks!
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